Why The Ladies’ Restrooms In Target Stores Are The Best Place To Meet Women In 2016

Men have to stay on top of pickup trends when it comes to meeting girls because what may have worked a decade ago will no longer be effective today. Since I’m an expert on American pickup culture, you are the first to know what works best before the masses do. After doing some extensive experimentation, I’m happy to say that I’m having an incredible success rate picking up women in Target stores, specifically in their ladies’ restrooms.

For those of you who aren’t American, Target is a popular low-cost retailer that sells food, home goods, and cheap clothes. Target is so progressive and cutting-edge that they have recently passed a new company policy catering to transvestites, specifically allowing biological males to use the female restroom.

In other words, men can now legally use the female Target bathroom without any repercussions. I have decided to use this loophole to my advantage and get laid consistently by approaching girls inside the ladies’ room. I’ve slept with six girls from the strategy since the policy was announced on April 19.

In-field footage from me in Target.

Simulated in-field footage of me picking up Scandinavian-derived white girls in Target.

Here the game plan I’ve been using, which I’m sharing only because I don’t spend that much time in the United States (if I did, there would be no way I’d publicly reveal my high-octane tactics for free).

1. Go into the Target women’s restroom and set up camp in a private stall

target3-redo

My testing showed that appearing within her stall will not lead to the bang

Most Target ladies’ rooms have two stalls. You will be occupying one for a “session” that lasts approximately an hour. I recommend you bring an e-reader or fully-charged smartphone to deal with possible down time of no women coming in.

2. Be patient and listen for hot girls to enter

Loud footsteps indicate obesity

Loud footsteps indicate obesity

It will take some experience to know the “sounds” of a hot girl, but usually it involves a light tippy-tap step instead of the thud-boom step of a fattie, an invariably sweet-smelling fragrance that cuts through the bathroom odor instead of the rotting yogurt stench of vaginal yeast, and a jingle-jangle from extensive cosmetic jewelry that cannot fit the log wrists of land whales. I got so good at hearing hot girls that I can predict a girl’s rating to within one point after listening to her movements for a mere 10 seconds.

3. Time it so that you intersect with the hot girl at the sink after she does her potty

target2-redo

Great female to male ratio

Once she completes her tinkle in the neighboring stall, she will want go to the sink to wash her hands and fix herself in the mirror. This is when you emerge from your stall and get behind her as if you’re patiently waiting to use the sink yourself, even though you don’t actually have to use the sink.

4. Break the ice by saying how you’re having a bad hair day

Women who use the bathroom often engage in conversation by talking about how bad they look in an attempt to fish for compliments. You will mimic this behavior to get the conversation going (if you’re bald, your statement will elicit a smile). The purpose of the ice breaker is to get her used to the fact that a man is in the women’s room and to establish your powerful, unbreakable masculine frame.

5. She’s not DTF if she questions why you’re in the women’s restroom

target5

My wingman Stanley running A+ game in Target

If she starts challenging your female identity, she’s definitely not going to bang you, but so you don’t get banged in jail, you have to provide authentic legal cover by stating the following: “Today I identify as a woman.” Technically that’s not a lie if you’re feeling moody, jealous, needy, anxious, or insecure, because women feel these traits every day. Be thankful that we live in a progressive nation where we can identify as anything without having to provide a shred of evidence, meaning your statement is truthful and supported by an American establishment that is catering more to mentally ill trannies every year.

6. She’s DTF if she completely ignores the fact that a man is in the women’s restroom

If she doesn’t even ask why a man just came out of the women’s stall, you’re halfway into her panties, which will be getting moist by the second due to the fact that you took such a progressive risk in bucking the patriarchal order to fully express yourself in a modern manner. Have a normal conversation with her about what sort of Chinese-made goods she’s shopping for at Target and then go for the digits quickly before security or non-progressive women attempt to cockblock your approach. You can also try for an instant date in the parking lot if you feel the attraction she has for you is especially strong.

7. Rotate your game sessions between all Targets in your area

target6

You don’t want to wear out your welcome in one Target, so mix it up a bit. You may even want to learn the schedule of the Target staff so you don’t run into the same individuals too often, because being a regular at Target is not the same as being a regular in a normal bar or club. Since this tip is hot, you will surely run into other ROK readers who will want to take advantage of the “identity loophole.” Ask them where the pet shop is and give them a knowing nod once they give the correct answer.

Advantages of running game in the Target women’s room

As you know from my history, I’ve run game just about everywhere women can be found, but I haven’t found such a treasure trove of easy lays like I have in the Target ladies’ bathroom. Check out these benefits:

  • Total pickup costs of $0. There’s nothing to buy in the bathroom, even if you have money to spend (i.e. there’s no bathroom attendant peddling mints).
  • Private, one-on-one conversation in an intimate setting. Interruptions will be few, meaning you can run game on the girl in complete silence.
  • Less flaking. Girls will want to bang you for the novelty of telling her friends that she met a man from the Target women’s restroom.

The best advantage of all is that it provides a big middle finger to feminism. If it wasn’t for feminist victories in inverting the traditional order, would I be getting laid from the tranny clusterfuck they created where biological men can peep on women in public? What pedophiles had to do secretly in the hopes of not going to jail can now be legally done by all men, without consequences. Sweet!

There is one downside in that sometimes I encounter doo-doo smells because some women think Target is suitable for releasing chocolate hostages, but other than that, I can’t recommend the women’s bathroom enough as a way to meet women for casual sex, and who knows, you may even meet someone you truly care about. So thank you Target Corporation, for allowing men to use your female restrooms. This great progressive company is bringing society together, just perhaps not in the way that they imagined.

Read Next: 8 Places To Meet Higher Quality Women In The West

328 thoughts on “Why The Ladies’ Restrooms In Target Stores Are The Best Place To Meet Women In 2016”

  1. Just when I thought Roosh was lost to the abyss of total seriousness which is a danger for all people who have a cause he brings this gem to the game. Well done Roosh.

    1. That’s it. I’m infiltrating the world of online feminism.
      This is the start of a long term trolling operation.

      1. That is a serious commitment.
        If you make it out alive you will never be the same. I picture you in a rocking chair with a blanket muttering something about cream of wheat.

        1. the reveal would be great.
          “It is true…I, your hero, Joan of Arc, has really been Bone of Snark all along….muhahahaha”

        2. Nah, she’s a symbol of the birth of the French Nationalgefühl and wanted to get rid of english illegal immigrant in the name of a patriarchal religion.
          Leftists hate her.

        3. Speaking of gurl power, ever since the absurd rape thing I’ve been taking a look at cracked to see if there is trolling opportunities. Today there is a self defense article. In order to properly criticize it I would need to drop out of society and go to walden pond, unplug from the world and take 3 months in a cabin….there is just too much to work with.

        4. right. they make it look like if a cracked out 200 pound man attacks a 7 year old she can break his arm using the force. Someone watch too much SJW Wars.

        5. *Snap*
          “Good block junior!”
          *Snap*
          “Next time flex your ab muscles, so it doesn’t hurt as much.”
          *Snap*
          “See, you’re not turning you instep enough when you kick.”
          *Snap* *Snap* *Snap*
          “Keep your left up! Keep that left up!”
          “Don’t worry, once you’ve put on some muscles and your bones are fully developed that should stop happening. You did great!”

        6. I have personal experience/training in all those techniques they provided except the shit like escaping duct tape/using keys/etc; the actual fighting techniques. I can assure you that it’s tough enough for a full grown man (me) to perform these attacks on a partner that is providing only nominal resistance. Using these things in a fight if you’re a woman/child and aren’t EXTREMELY skilled in them? Forget about it!

        7. at no point did they even mention the proper way to make a fist. And wtf is with keys. This is like the third article in as many weeks I have seen advocating the use of a key through the fingers. That is a hilarious self defense method.

        8. They do. Don’t know why. She never actually picked up a sword and fought in a battle. She basically rode to the front of the two armies before engagement and shouted a bit about God’s wrath for committing murder, which sometimes resulted in the battles being terminated. Which is cool, good psy-ops, but it’s not like she was some feminist powerhouse.

        9. Isn’t that exactly why though:
          She ran off at the mouth, didn’t have to physically do anything, and her white knights did whatever she wanted.

        10. Ah, fair point, hadn’t considered it like that.
          And the fun thing is that they were *literally* white knights.

        11. I am a daily kratom user, all my internal organs are vestigial now.

        12. Sounds like you are in the kratom transition phase where you transform into pure energy. It happens. Cycle it a bit if you want to keep your corporeal body for use on a rainy day.

        13. By not cycling my Kratom and giving up my corporeal body I will become more powerful than you can imagine.

        14. Read the 48 laws of power that will help you with their eventual destruction.

        15. Funny thing, Kenobe really didn’t become more powerful. He basically became a ghost version of Siri that mumbled inspirational phrases from time to time. If I’m going to get cut down I want to become more “powerful” than an iPod app, but maybe that’s just me.

        16. When my son was around 11 I demonstrated to him the power men have. I had him arm wrestle his mother. She honestly tried and lost, big time. He felt all awesome. Then I had him try to arm wrestle me and he couldn’t budge my arm, all the while I kept saying “Go ahead, you can start when you’re ready”. After I gave him a minute or so of futile effort, I smacked his hand down with ease. I then told him “Now do you understand what kind of strength men have and what you’ll grow to become?”
          It was a demonstration he needed because he was starting to argue with me about 90 pound women being able to drop kick 250 pound bruisers and have them fly across the room.
          Always got to counter the propaganda. He now laughs when a woman in his presence claims that she’s “strong and equal”.

        17. We have a few of them “strong and independent” girls at our martial arts school. None of them have tried to make the challenge that they can do anything a guy can though. If they did, I might just have to take them up on that challenge.

        18. It’s always wise to do actual investigations from sources other than “teachers”.

        19. He was still more powerful than Anakin became because at least he had the power not to be replaced by cgi Hayden Christeensen

        20. A lot of historians belive she was nothing more than a pawn to the French generals.

        21. You should just beat the living snot out of one of them in front of the others. Really fuck her up. The rest will learn.

        22. For no reason at all. Just walk up and start whaling on her while she’s sitting talking about scrapbooks or whatever the fuck it is women talk about with each other.
          The word will spread.

        23. Cracked used to be mildly interesting, now its so SJW it hurts the brain of any sane individual who comes across it. Btw if you’re serious about the trolling thing just look for Luke McKinney articles. Most self-righteous SJW cunt on their staff.

        24. Absolutely. The only columnist worth reading is Seanbaby and I can just go to his site to read stuff. I hope they are paying him to be associate with them. I am still sour that David Wong himself emailed me to tell me that my cracked account was revoked because the days of misogynistic comments in the comments section of cracked were over.

        25. Which is all that I’d ever expect her to be. Modern entertainment has re-written history to such an extent that people really have no idea that most battles in history did not contain women in them.

        26. Very few historical figures that aren’t used for someone’s political agenda, whether past or present.

        27. That’s some dope ninja stuff right there, bro.

        28. She was a symbol. A very powerful one. Most of the historians trying to denigrate her here in the old Continent are either 1. Leftists 2. English.

        29. Holy crap, you got an email from Wong himself? The white guy who hates his whiteness so much he changed his surname to Wong? That seems like the highest honour you could receive as a troll. And the fuck they are, we’re taking this misogyny straight to the top!

        30. Yeah I did a paper on this with how women are destroying the military environment. One person tried to make a rebuttal against it claiming the Amazonian female warriors which is just a myth the Greeks created mostly for their own story purposes.

        31. Sure, no question. I actually found what she did to be pretty cool. I’m just amused at the reinterpretation that feminists have applied to her.

        32. yeah, I’ve posted it here before but give me a minute I will show it to you. It was from his person white guy name account too.

        33. my comment, by the way, was quoting Belushi saying that women aren’t funny.

        34. Here it is again. Look from the bottom. I submitted a trouble ticket when I couldn’t log in. My email has been redacted. His hasn’t.
          ———————————
          Ok. Didn’t realize we were getting so sensitive, but whatevs.
          Btw: if I ever run into Belushi in heaven ill mention that quoting him on comedy sites is no longer acceptable. Also, it is true…enjoy the Tina Feyization of comedy and, yeah, also your vagina.
          On Apr 4, 2013, at 12:04 PM, “Jason Pargin” wrote:
          Hi. The era of being able to make misogynist comments toward female writers on the site has come to an end. Feel free to take that elsewhere.
          From: Cracked [mailto:[email protected]]
          Sent: Thursday, April 04, 2013 10:57 AM
          To: Mandy Ng; Simon Jia; Jason Pargin; Dan Obrien; Jack O’Brien; Greg Shabanov
          Subject: Cracked Contact Us – Technical
          Name: lolknee
          Email: lolknee
          Comment: Tried to comment on an article but was told I was banned from commenting? Huh? Srsly? WTF.
          Username:
          lolknee

        35. That is exactly why women should not be soldiers. After Elementary school they get their ass kicked in all things physical. Shit, we beat the girls in events on field day in elementary school. They had to have grown teachers help them in tug of war and we still won. Whipped them in baseball. Equality nothing.

        36. By the way, I have always thought that Kunta Kinta was a shitty name whereas Toby was kind of a cool name. I mean, if I had to pick being being Kunta or Toby I would def go Toby. And that is free choice. It would never come down to whippings. He would be all, your name is Toby and I would be all…wow, that is so much fucking better than Kunta.

        37. It’s slow going though, I know the ER staff on a first name basis.

        38. Names are a strange thing. I’ve never particularly felt much affinity with my own, its always sounded odd in my mouth when I’m introducing myself, but yeah flip that name around and his Kinta Kunta sounds like Kind of a Cunt. Toby shits on that.

        39. So basically any comment against women is mysoginistic? They throw that word around like they know what it really means

        40. Right. The author of some article was female. My comment was “like Belushi said, “women aren’t funny.” And I was banned and chastised by king faggot himself.

        41. One of the leaders of Femen is a guy. He makes sure only thin, attractive, sexy feminists are recruited, and then trains them. Not a bad gig.

        42. Heh, my gym teacher in elementary pulled that after stacking two or three classes worth of girls against my class plus himself and a few other teachers. We called him the 90’s pre-teen equivalent of a white knight for that stunt.

        43. I would seriously try this, as a half trolling attempt, and a “know your enemy” pre-emptive plan, and half to see some awesome boobage, but where I live, the girls who would show up with be fat, pierced, shrapnel balls of neon.

        44. a man named Victor Svyatski as the mastermind behind the group.[143] Svyatski was previously known as (only) a “consultant” to the movement. In the documentary Ukraine is not a brothel[144] Svyatski admits he is the brain behind the group, stating that the girls would not have been able to start FEMEN without him, which is confirmed by some of the female FEMEN activists. In the documentary Svyatski is heard intensively instructing the FEMEN women how to perform their protests and bullying them when not all goes according to plan

        45. He should get two counts of manslaughter, one for the driver he killed, and one for himself.

        46. Apparently he’s posing nude for the Sports Illustrated cover next month.

        47. The biggest cunts around. They hold nothing sacred. No sense of respect or reverence towards anything sacred or traditional. Savages really.
          If they tried to pull their shit in a Muslim country they’d be beheaded. There’s a good video on You Tube of a scene in Sochi where a Cossack takes a horse whip to break up one of their demonstrations.
          Stupid manipulated bitches. The douchebag that runs it demands only hot women that are willing to show their tits and asses in public because that’s the only way to get his progressive movement any attention.
          No disputing that the girls are fuckable though. And I’ve no doubt they like their sex rough as a subconscious compensatation for their confused state of mind about the role of men and women.

        48. you would not make the starting team for the XMEN with a skill like that-benchwarmer at best

        49. I didn’t even know it was based on a real woman. lol. However, if it was I would imagine that 3 weeks would be impressive.

        50. I’m hoping to trigger any X genes I might have from the constant puncture trauma.

        51. Sources deviate, but I went with the longest. I recall a living relative mentioned she quit because the riveting was killing her hands and ruining her nails. Go figure.

        52. So the Deadliest Warrior episode of William the Conqueror Vs Joan of Ark, is basically bullshit.

        53. “Yeah I did a paper on this with how women are destroying the military environment. One person tried to make a rebuttal against it claiming the Amazonian female warriors which is just a myth the Greeks created mostly for their own story purposes.”
          Latest evidence is that there is some historical truth behind the Amazon legends, but that just makes them among the few exceptions that prove the rule. However, the “Amazons” weren’t really “military,” but more like American pioneer women who might be trained in firearms for defense against Indians.
          http://news.nationalgeographic.com/news/2014/10/141029-amazons-scythians-hunger-games-herodotus-ice-princess-tattoo-cannabis/
          They’ve been excavating Scythian kurgans, which are the
          burial mounds of these nomadic peoples. They all had horse-centred lifestyles, ranging across vast distances from the Black Sea all the way to Mongolia. They lived in small tribes, so it makes sense that everyone in the tribe is a stakeholder. They all have to contribute to defense and to war efforts and hunting. They all have to be able to defend themselves.
          The great equalizer for those peoples was the domestication of horses and the invention of horse riding, followed by the perfection of the Scythian bow, which is smaller and very powerful. If you think about it, a woman on a horse with a bow, trained since childhood, can be just as fast and as deadly as a boy or man.
          Archaeologists have found skeletons buried with bows and arrows and quivers and spears and horses. At first they assumed that anyone buried with weapons in that region must have been a male warrior. But with the advent of DNA testing and other bioarchaeological scientific analysis, they’ve found that about one-third of all Scythian women are buried withweapons and have war injuries just like the men. The women were also buried with knives and daggers and tools. So burial with masculine-seeming grave goods is no longer taken as an indicator of a male warrior. It’s overwhelming proof that there were women answering to the description of the ancient Amazons.

        54. Women are “strong and equal” only as long as they have at least a couple of White Knights (with or without Blue Uniforms) standing behind them.
          The crash can’t come soon enough…

        55. I have to disagree; that’s not really any challenge at all. Smacking down some trash-talking feminist gives at least her a long-needed lesson in humility.

        56. The spoiled women of this culture believe ANY criticism of them or any disagreement with their feminist beliefs is ‘proof’ of “misogyny”.

        57. That ain’t a woman — that will only happen when his DNA is changed to XX.
          “You can put lipstick on a pig, but it’s still a pig.”

        58. I thought that they did this sketch better on the Flying Circus; this was a poor replay.

        59. She was (probably) a mentally ill woman who got all the glory for other men picking up their swords

        60. Interesting, the British suffragettes were pawns for getting men drafted into WWI

        61. Yeah, I’ve played coed dodge-ball games, and I’ve seen five or so solid seniors easily beat 35+ girls and underclassmen. Keep in mind that if you have 35 people against five, basic linear infantry tactics (stand in a line and throw all the balls at once) should end the fight quickly. It’s not that women are weaker, they just completely lack discipline.

        62. Well, like many myths, a kernel of truth. The SKythian nobility required their females to bring back the head of an enemy in order to marry. This gave rise to the notion of a nation of warrior women. Not as absurd as it may sound, as a trained warrior can and will defeat merely a strong one.

        63. Even back then the girls were getting advantages. I just never recognized it before.

        64. It used to be that if you went for an advanced degree in an area like Histroy or Sociology you’d get the real stuff that they wouldn’t teach the undergrads. No so today. And now as generations of books go out of print and get replaced by the newer, PC versions, most of our important knowledge is being lost.

        65. That argument keeps coming up. I’ve seen it here too by some troll. All you gotta do is fucking read the real greek and roman historians and you know that the Amazon thing isn’t true, and how female led nations wiped THEMSELVES out. .

        66. Yeah, but stop and think of how they viewed other tribes and such. It didn’t have to be an enemy warrior, just some person that wasn’t in their own tribe. In other words, they could go out on horseback, which many other people’s didn’t have, and run down an unsuspecting farmer, male or female, and bring back the head. Not such a big feat at all. And knowing today’s females, blood lust is in a woman’s DNA anyway.

    2. Y’know, I always wondered what those big red balls outside of Target were when I drove by, turns out…giant anal beads.

      1. with anal beads that big there must be some huge assholes in there.

    3. hopefully one day zoo animals demand to use the bathrooms at target. nothing but straw on the bathroom floors. feel sorry for the guy who has to clean up an elephant’s dung heap

      1. for now the zoo animals are only demanding use at wally world.

    4. Roosh is a supreme troll i loved this article he trolled so much i almost believe him

    5. I have been in the ladies room twice, entirely by accident. Once at an airport (tired) and once in the office where I was about to have an interview (uncomfortable – and I passed a rather shocked woman on the way out. I acted like it was all perfectly normal).
      At the airport I only realized I was in the wrong place once I was in the the stall and heard the tippy tappy of women’s shoes. I took a deep breath and walked straight out, passing behind a woman at the mirror doing her make-up. Thankfully nobody noticed.

    6. Funny thing is… that in the back of my mind I saw you lolknee laughing throughout this whole article. Well, here you are, top commentator. I love telepathy!

      1. Ahem, I believe we need an expert on this topic.
        After further investigation of this said anomaly where it seems the First Lady has a bulge reminiscent to that of a male boy, it has been concluded that in fact she suffers from a grossly enlarged clitoris aka “Clitoromegaly”.
        Good day gentlemen.

        1. That I can believe. It does appear to be at least 8 or 9 inches in its dormant state

    1. Are those legit or shopped? It’s hard to tell in 2016 (seriously).

      1. It’s very hard to believe they’d be able to make it so far with a secret that massive lurking about.

  2. Whiny bitches…I have to identify as a mammal just to survive on your puny world

  3. This was gold, had me nearly in tears on my way to class. Good show Roosh.

    1. I want a Roosh mask. Roosh is so notorious these days it could probably get you into an eyes wide shut masquerade party

  4. Nothing gets girls hornier than bucking the patriarchal order and expressing it in a modern manner. Nothing!

  5. Holy shit this was funny. I read “rotting yogurt stench of vaginal yeast” and got sick to my stomach and laughed out loud both at the same time.

  6. The ONLY thing you’ll find in Target’s ladies rooms are trannies now.
    Everyone knows women (including feminists that vote for this kind of thing) will stop using the restrooms in Target.
    I can’t believe Roosh banged 6 trannies since April!

        1. It’s always good to come prepared for the game.

  7. Is it legal to have an international RoK lady-man’s day out, together at Target? We could have so much fun”shopping” imagine a line of men waiting at the ladies room door.

    1. What the hell is up with every Hollywood actors dressing up like girls, its almost like an initiation ritual.

      1. Two angles:
        1. It’s a tradition dating back at least as far as Shakespeare, and likely as far back as ancient Greece, that all actors were men. Some male actors do it for the “connection to the ancient greats” thing.
        2. Producers and other executives being controlling assholes. Actors put up with it because otherwise they won’t get another job in Hollywood.
        Hard to say which it is at any given time. Take your pick.

        1. Its No 2. The corporate drones they call actors today have no “connection to the ancient greats” Lets be honest here.

      2. youre right on the money, chappelle didnt want to wear a dress and now his career is down the toilet

      3. Will Smith had to make out with a guy on screen to get to where he is now.

  8. Let’s start betting pool, now. How long until someone in the media thinks this is true advice? Great satire piece, RooshV.

    1. “Lets start betting pool now, how long until someone in the media thinks this true? “.
      Somehow I see Roosh having another press conference having to reiterate to a bunch of dough-heads that the article is satire.

      1. I think all the “douche heads” are too busy at the anti trump rallies to care about ROK for the while. We are free to say as we please.

    2. Email to Dave Futrelle citing imminent risk to women and start the ball rolling

    3. This won’t get covered as true because even as satire it’s too damning of the transgender policy. This CAN happen. And worse, it will. Covering this article would make leftists look bad, so newspapers ain’t gonna do it.

    1. the hell it is…the women’s bathroom is a…..wait for it…..Target rich environment.

      1. *groan*
        I can’t believe you actually typed that and hit “Post as lolknee”
        Heh

      2. “Thank you and thankx for coming! Please don’t forget to tip the waitresses….. and order the meatloaf!”

    2. Wait. It is?
      I usually just do everything Roosh says and say fuckall to individual capacity and responsibility and I thought for sure this must be real study-verified pickupology-credentialled work.
      After all, I dont gravitate to this site to joke around with like-minded men and discuss real-world issues and self-improvement. I come here to learn how to sex many womens.

      1. Not to mention roosh is really doing these things, look he’s in two pictures!!! If he can do that then so can we!

  9. If it weren’t for the fact it would spoil the male/female ratio target ladies lavatories would also make a great location for the deferred ROK meet-up.
    Great game advice here.

  10. I work with tons of Leftist, progressive women (and men) – I cannot wait for a few trannies to be hired and a bathroom law to come to an affect.

  11. Since Mr Valizadeh did not explicity label this a satire, I must only conclude that this is serious and sound pickup advice and proceed to my nearest Target store to take part in exercising my right to identify as a lesbian with a penis today.
    I don’t wear makeup though because I believe that it promotes unachievable standards of beauty and just wouldn’t go with my beard.

      1. Excuse me, its Xir. Im a top lesbian and I demand for you to have somehow known what to call me before I needed to correct you.

        1. Mmm mmm mmm
          Frothy doublesugar diabetes and mushy bathroom postpee pussy.
          ‘Expect more, and thats it.’

        2. I wonder if one of these shit-for-brains lunatics is sitting somewhere identifying with the letter Y. You know, it’s only a vowel sometimes.

        3. Even addressing you is a patriarchal slight. Of course, ignoring you is prejudice as well.

        4. I prefer to simply be bowed to and pointed toward the pizza line.

        5. So I guess we just culturally appropriate Italian things now, huh? Check your privilege, whitey.

        6. Well I myself have already changed my mind and now explicitly identify as only a graphical representation of Hillary Clinton’s asshole rendered in macaroni art on the side of a lucky charms box.

        7. Oh shit, that’s some haunting imagery you have going on there, heh.

        8. but how do you know its her asshole? I mean I’m squinting here and all I’m seeing is Obama’s face.

        9. The male lesbian I identify as is also transracially Inuit. Since there is no baby seal sandwich vendor in Target stores (something I’m already starting a change.org pettition to correct) I have been forced to sustain myself with no less than 5 pizza hut personal pan pizzas in an effort to stave off the intense visual abuse I endure by failing to see Inuit models displayed in the women’s (gendernormative scum) jeans section.

        10. Interestingly enough, I’m also trans-biologicallly sensitive because I majored in feminist dance therapy. I believe firmly that your perception of Hillary Clinton’s asshole might differ accutely from mine due to percieved microaggressions and bionormative stereotypes causing differences in the way you might visualize bodyparts. Therefore if your macaroni drawing looks like a dead ringer for Obama’s face, so long as you call it Hillary’s asshole and, of course, it is displayed on a lucky charms box, I will take your word for it, no questions asked.

        11. Thank you. Ive been lurking for a long time waiting for the right time to unleash my pen on the masses. Im glad you got all the references.

      2. wouldn’t that be xero as the her portion of hero is cis privilege run amok

    1. Everything here seems right to me with the exception of unachievable standards of beauty which, in 2016 America are, as far as I understand it, only defined as less than 200 lbs

    2. LOL. Better be careful getting too funny though, there can be unfortunate side effects when comedic bearded men wear dresses:

      1. Umm ookay. Who said I need to wear a dress?! Im perfectly comfortable expressing my identity as a woman with a penis who likes women while wearing jeans.
        Stop mansplaining at me.

        1. again wouldn’t that be spot mansplaining at Ze as the Me is the first part of men and therefore patriarchy oppression? Or maybe my self identifying as an alcoholic at this hour is confusing me.

        2. I thought that was the whole point of the trans movement to confuse the shit out of all us who use logic and reason, so that we can’t believe in up and down, much less which is which anymore.

  12. Out
    Fucking
    Standing!
    Troll article trolls! I’m digging it!

  13. Have no brave trannies tried to gain admission to Womens’ gyms yet?

    1. That one woman got kicked out of planet fitness because she complained about a man using the girls locker room.

  14. I heard that bathrooms help men really get a picture of what the woman is truly like. Apart from being half clothed you might get to see her personalitities!

      1. I had a friend who worked at a fast food place and the restrooms were always a mess, but the women’s room was the worst. Shit on the floor with no attempt to use the toilet. Gross.

        1. Yep, we’ve covered this topic before on other articles. Want to disabuse yourself of the notion that women are dainty clean pretty princesses? Visit a women’s restroom at closing time. Christ almighty, men don’t even approach that level of gross.

        2. The jokes about Men’s aim always seem stupid now. Piss stains all over for ladies.

    1. Don’t be daft, women don’t have personalities. Unless by personality you mean their cunts. In which case yes, yes they do have personalities.

      1. Then if they’re upside-down, their personalities all look the same?

  15. Wingman Stanley is now my God.
    In related news the minute some dude enters the same bathroom as any of my ladies I’m going to fuck him up beyond recognition. They really will need to have surgery after that.

  16. Serial killers such as Ted Bundy (remember him?), would love these new bathroom/dressing room laws. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel.

    1. Shit, he would rack up a body count. I’d find it kind of funny if it was not real. It sounds like a parody movie or something.

    2. I’ve always wondered at that saying, shooting fish in a barrel. It implies that it’s very easy to shoot fish in a barrel, yes, but then that begs the question of who shoots fish *not* in a barrel? I mean is there some kind of marksmanship club that goes out and guns down innocent fish? If so, where do I join?

        1. Yeah, that’s dynamite bro. A power load.

        2. I’m T.N.T. I’m Dynamite. T.N.T. and I’ll win the fight T.N.T. I’m a power load T.N.T. watch me explode

        3. A day late and a dollar short man, I beat you to it by a solid 2 minutes.

        4. are you training with Ninja Unabashaed at his school for fast fingers?

        5. while you were sayig this I was making the same acdc joke. I am just fucking el terrible huh.

        6. There’s no way to fit “finger” and “sensei” into a sentence without it sounding extremely gay.

        7. When David Carradine died in an auto-erotic asphyxiation accident I wrote a series of haiku about it. It is possible I have one there.

        8. There are times when
          Haikus will make no sense
          refrigerator

        9. I think that Haiku
          Is also the plural of
          Haiku you jerkoff

        10. Your words are painful
          Yet we know they are the truth
          Fuck you very much

        11. By the by, I am using all of my will power to let it slide that you just said you are spitting out longjack.

        12. Don’t mind him he’s on his longjack off cycle.

  17. In all seriousness, this illustrates how this new restroom policy makes it easier for sexual predators to have access to commit their dirty deeds where women will be most vulnerable, where sane men will be prohibited that could aid them in a case of assault. Women would in reality be safer in a dark alley than in a public restroom.
    God help us all.

    1. The timing is odd. First we get articles telling us to accept pedophiles and now this law. Sounds like fucking kiddies is gonna become a thing. Get ready.

      1. In all seriousness if that ever starts to mainstream, start hurting people. All of us, seriously, start hurting these fucks. This shit cannot stand.

        1. I’m already bloody-lusted. I have a knife collection I have been itching to use. I just need a reason. Now I may have one.

        2. I’ll knee cap any fucker I know who does this. Might even stab him directly in the balls if I can get the drop on him.

        3. I prefer blunt-force instruments. Just a tactile thing. But yeah, if that day ever comes I wont sit by and allow it.

        4. I think a Purge or a Revolution will start at that point.
          “Step forward those who would serve. For and army will be raised. The powerful will be ripped from their decadent nests, and cast out into the cold world that we know and endure. Courts will be convened. Spoils will be enjoyed. Blood will be shed. “

        5. You know, I agree, but even here, this law shows how complicated things get. I have a five year old daughter. You can bet your ass that she’s not going to be allowed to walk into the ladies room alone anymore unless I make sure there’s no pervert lingering in there. But of course, to do that, I myself have to enter the bathroom to clear it. It’s all just fucking retarded.
          What these morons don’t understand is that sometimes these rules that hurt your feelings were invented to prevent the kinds of fights that hurt your bodies.

        6. Women will then start using men’s restrooms to feel safer or go outside in the bushes.

        7. And then some other guy is forced to decide whether or not you might be some loitering pervert.

        8. Its like this whole thing is some kinda test. Everybody is afraid to say gay marriage is wrong, or gay men adopting little children (to exploit.) What comes after men in the women’s room? Pedophiles teaching kindergarten?

        9. Exactly. Nap time kids. Remember, we sleep with our pants off. It’s fucking sick.

        1. Yeah, me too. First is disgust and then seething rage. It is bubbling up. Shit, I sound like some kind of violent, triggered SJW right now, but damn.

        2. Yep. It’s one thing to snarl about women and not wanting to do shit for them, and I get that, but kids are utterly defenseless against this kind of thing. A purer form of gross violation I cannot imagine.

      2. “But, but, ‘slippery slope’ is a logical fallacy.” Bull-shit. ‘Slippery slope’ is the name of the game. Accept this freak-show, or you’ll be the previous people who didn’t accept last decade’s freak shows.

        1. Slippery Slope? That is the 13 year old girl from japan I currently am identifying as.

        2. I’ve watched an anime before, so I absolutely know everything about your customs and culture.

        3. As I pointed out in a different article, there is also a logical fallacy called argumentum ad logicam. It is where you argue that an argument must be untrue simply because it contains a logical fallacy. This is incorrect. Fallacies are flaws in logical reasoning, but they don’t necessarily invalidate the conclusion, they just call it into question. It is always possible that the slippery slope WOULD actually produce the result argued. Just because there is slippery slope reasoning doesn’t make the conclusion incorrect. You need to be aware of the slippery slope in proving up the argument to overcome this weakness, and here, that seems pretty easy to do. Just walk into a woman’s bathroom with your swinging dick. Hey ladies!
          People who make the slippery slope argument you are talking about are
          themselves just committing an argumentum ad logicam fallacy.

      3. I think its them pushing to see how far they can go to force things down our throat as demonstration of their dominance over us.
        And those who prey on prepubescents deserve to die.

    2. It’s an election year diversion to keep Forney from writing more trump articles. Target simply had to find a way to keep thier bathrooms clean, and now that no one will use them, the problem is solved.

    3. It’s pretty ‘interesting’ how women are also defending this new restroom policy, isn’t it? Some people are SO determined to be “Useful Idiots”…

  18. He copied my article “How to bang broads at the bingo hall” My wing man’s guy was Larry but almost same article except I advertise ways to us them bingo dabbers

  19. Let’s hope Walmart doesn’t follow Target’s example. The butt-ugliest women shop there.

    1. Fortunately, for some their scooter can’t make it around the little walls you pass as you go in.

  20. I saw some young hotties enter the ladies room in Target this weekend. As I started to follow them inside, I froze like a rookie. I guess I’m not as good at game as I thought. Can you guys teach me?

    1. Bathroom Approach Anxiety is a real thing. Maybe Troy can help us with an article on how to overcome it?

      1. I am waiting for Donovan to write the black mans guide to banging white chicks in the target bathroom. Then the stormfags can come in and say how we need whites only transgendered bathrooms — you know, to protect racial purity.

        1. I’m chomping at the bit for Matt Forney to tell us how Trump is the master alpha at Bathroom Pickup.

        2. waitin’ on Forney to drop his trump article like no ones business.

        3. It’ll be great, it’ll be yuge. I tell Melania all the time, if you don’t stay hot, I’ll find my next 25 year old in the Target women’s bathroom. Trannies love me. They really do. Women that I share bathrooms with, big supporters. They’re the best.

        4. Somewhere along here will be a sponsored post about Kratom dispensers in the women’s rooms.

      2. Yes it is. And now, with the publication of this article, I’m fearful of an influx of beta providers who buy women tampons from the wall machines and white knights who are there to protect them from sleezy pickup artists will make bathroom game just as difficult as real world game. Jump while the iron is hot.

      3. Oh my I thought I was the only one having trouble shitting in sink with a bunch of women screaming at me!
        I owe my bowl movements to you bro, for real, I apreciateyour support.

      4. Kratom specifically addresses this issue; be sure to vape it. B.A.A. is real.

  21. I am willing to bet money a hate mob will form from people who do not realize this is satire.

    1. Show me a woman who gets satire, and I bet you money it used to have a pair.

      1. My thought exactly. Feminists could never come up with decent satire on any men’s movement. So they just scream racist louder and louder…

    1. Hahahahahahaha this made me chuckle for a good while, like a slow pleased chuckle…

  22. I use the women’s bathroom because there are more toilets and I’m not just talking about the ones that flush

  23. Women, being the sentimental creatures they are, will likely want to have weddings in Target bathrooms soon. Why?
    “Because that’s where we met! Isn’t it romantic?”

      1. And just look at how convenient it would be if some of the wedding guests get so shitfaced that they have to puke. Several toilets right there! It’s the ideal place for a wedding!!

  24. #3; quite a dramatic angle of the sun shining on Roosh’s face in the…women’s restroom.

      1. Because it has come the time in his campaign to start reaching across the aisle to attract all of the democrats who are chomping at the bit for an alternative to Hillary. Its a wise political move to come down a little off of the rhetoric and boost his popularity.

        1. Yea but come on…..fuckin trannies in the ladies??? I saw one a couple of weeks ago and ffs the hairy arms and ill fitting wig….. its fuckin madness…..

        2. I agree. I just wanted to disseminate some positive imagery for our best viable shot at combatting this kind of shit.

      2. He is a good democrat. Lie to their face, win the election and do what you want. He can always say that he “evolved on the issue.”

    1. umm shouldn’t it be a pic of Caitlyn Jenner flying into the Trump Tower to use whatever toilet he wants?

      1. Yes yes, Ive already addressed that. I just wanted to share the picture. If he turns the tide we can actually start chipping away at this madness.

  25. Unfortunately This article will be taken out of context and Salon. Mic, buzzfeed, huffpost, even RT who were in on the last witch trial smear campaign and the rest of the gay media mafia etc will take this article and run with it. Its obvious SJW,particularly women don’t understand humor, satire and the art of using irony to prove a point. Get ready Roosh for a lynch mob from the likes of a 1940’s Frankenstein film to be real if you ever decide to show your face in America again.

    1. There won’t be a lynch mob because he’s using their arguments against him.

    2. But look Roosh is in these pictures! It’s obvious he’s really in the toilets!!!

    3. I live for RoK articles going viral. Nothing yet has beat Forney’s tatted chick asre crazy article.
      However, dumb assed politicians blathering fauxmenist horse shit while looking up what a “roosh” is, is pretty fucking funny.

    4. Hey you might be onto something. Women seem to mostly understand humour when it’s served on a plate, like when an obvious comedian is doing it. If you take it out of an “obvious” context, they often don’t get it and that’s even if you account for different tastes in humour.

  26. I get the shits uncontrollably any time i enter a toilet- i think that might turn out to be a self-cockblock.
    Good luck though gents!!

  27. Roosh, you forgot the “This is a satire” disclaimer at the end.

  28. Now we’re getting somewhere. The advantages of media speed and sharing ideas. Such a wonderful community we have here.
    How can we install doses of Kratom via the bathroom air fresheners?

  29. Ah, the joys of being anosmic … While you olfactorily-unimpaired lightweights will bail as soon as a landwhale drops a Dhansak Deuce, I’ll be sticking around till a solid 9 pops in for a light tinkle …

      1. Hard to say, since I’ve never been able to taste food as if I was someone else – same as I can’t say whether or not we both see ‘red’ the same way, I can’t say whether or in what way I taste things differently from you. One thing I have noticed is that I love food which my ‘picky eater’ friends find disgusting – stuff like blue cheese, lemons (I literally eat lemons whole, rind and all), spicy curries and so on. Whether that’s down to my poor sense of smell or my ‘You get what you’re given’ (WRT food) upbringing is anyone’s guess.

  30. who knows – maybe it’s not as far stretched as you think. after all the term “red pill” came directly from the transgender creators of Matrix. so maybe we all soon be able to claim transgender rights by association with the transgender red pill ideology.

    1. Just because so called trannies made the movie doesn’t make it any less true. The nwo loves putting shit out like the matrix as some twisted joke. They need to let the masses know that they are in charge.

  31. It’s nice to see an article like this that makes me laugh. Sometimes all of us here on ROK just start getting a little too serious and depressing.

  32. Im thinking if rapists were going to rape women in restrooms it would be happening already ( and I’m sure it actually does). Its not like some invisible force field has been magically lifted all of a sudden. Anyone has always been able to walk right in, nothing has changed.

    1. ” Anyone has always been able to walk right in, nothing has changed”
      Bullshit. You are correct that rapists and pervs can walk in, but the fact is by allowing this new rule it makes it much easier for creeps to do their thing.

    2. i dont think the threat is that a girl will be raped. i think it is that a perverted male will grab a wig and enter just to listen to girls pee while enjoying the smell. it may not physically hurt anyone but its still fucked up and not something women want

  33. In before some feminazis take this post seriously and write about it on their blog.

  34. I’m no SJW and I’m well aware that this is satire (although a highly botched attempt) but I must say: just when I thought Roosh couldn’t sink any lower, he confounds me with this piece which adds nothing of value to the debate . I know I’m flogging a dead horse here with what should be abundantly clear but women’s washrooms are for females including women who are legitimately part of the trans community. They are not are for creeps pretending to be females or for scumbags exploiting and stigmatizing the trans community for said scumbag’s own sick gain by violating the privacy of others . For the record, not only would this legislation be unethical and ineffective, it’s completely pointless as it didn’t seem to be an issue before . What about the trans women and men (especially those who pass) whom have using the gendered or neutral facilities for years without a fuss?
    I’m also petty sure that this article was likely an attempt to drum up controversy for the sake of it, out of sheer boredom because Roosh has nothing better to occupy his time.

    1. ” but women’s washrooms are for females including women who are legitimately part of the trans community ”
      Who decides who is part of the trans community ? I feel like being a woman today, how am I not part of your community ?
      I agree with you. I also believe dog leash spots are for individuals who are true part of the furry community :

      http://i.imgur.com/OmsND.jpg

      1. I’m no expert but many in the trans community have dealt with the feelings of not being born the correct gender or their biological sex not matching up with their gender for years before transitioning and yes I get you were being sarcastic

    2. Are you fucking kidding me? There can’t be a debate about ALLOWING CREEPY MEN WHO SAY THEY ARE FEMALE into restrooms where normal females and potentially young girls would be there. This is utterly ridiculous, are we really at the point where the left will endanger actual women just for the sake of being ”PC with trans people”? Holy shit.
      Oh well it doesn’t matter to me because I don’t identify with any gender, in fact I’m not even human, I’m a hedgehog. I’m going to use any damn restroom I want and masturbate everywhere I want to, I’m a fucking hedgehog and I don’t give a damn about what your puny human rules are. No cops can ever catch me anyways because I run too fast. Oups a cop caught me? Could it be that all along I wasn’t a hedgehog and never could be one? Nah can’t be I’m Sanic I run 3000 kms an hour that cop must have gotten lucky or something. There’s no way in hell I could possibly be wrong in being Sanic. Here to prove it I’m going to undergo surgery now people will believe me even more.

      1. Way to throw an epic tantrum online while completely ignoring everything I said genius. Are we really having this discussion? It’s not about allowing creepy people pretending to be trans or trans women in. It’s about allowing actual trans people to have the same rights as everyone else. Also, you sound like a radical feminist by the way you’re trying to depict the trans community as some predatory group of subhumans .I’m not going to even bother explaining how the trans community are actual human beings like everyone else
        Also in regards to your hedgehog analogy, being the asinine identity of a otherkin is not the same as being trans.
        Honestly, get over yourself

        1. No one here portends that all transexuals are looming child abusers. There was not a legal issue for this before, but there was definitely a heavy social stigma in which said individuals would not feel comfortable using said restrooms.
          What you’re suggesting is that we should sacrifice the comfort, security and privacy of children (CHIL.DREN.) – a very large population, for the advancement of a social experimentation aimed at providing comfort for a very small minority of disturbed adults at the expense of these children (FUCKING. KIDS.)
          I don’t hate these people or malign them for their suffering (don’t make me point you to the suicide stats) but your insistence that they shouldn’t be harassed isn’t something that anyone here is challenging. That you’re opening up even the smallest possibility for kids to end up in a bad situation is entirely deplorable, and what any rationally-based, responsible thinker who cares about the well being of the most vulnerable segment of society would vehemently protest.
          Shame on you.
          Edit:
          And y’know, furthermore I’d like to point out the sheer lunacy in your lack of understanding that giving pedophiles –already sick, depraved individuals bent on hurting kids — a door into a vulnerable position for their intended victims augmented with a sheild against deterrence and expulsion being not only idiotic but entirely deplorable to advocate. Nobody is saying trans people are child rapists (okay maybe some are, but thats entirely irellevant unless your feelings are more important than children’s safety), but that child rapists could very easily exploit this by acting as trans people.

        2. When in my post did I ever mention about sacrificing the safety and comfort of children? Anyone who dressed up as a woman or pretends to be trans to spy in a children , is a scumbag for violating the rights of children and exploiting the trans community .
          I’m well aware of the suicide rate for the trans community and am quite saddened by it . Yes there are trans people dealing with psychological problems but not because of the gender they identify with itself but rather to do other issues.
          Don’t try to lecture me about you care about the wellbeing of society because it’s clear you don’t based on your beliefs

        3. You _didn’t_ mention it. You downright ignored it you scumbag.

        4. If you think the feelings of unstable adults outweigh the wellbeing of kids then you really have nothing further to say. You have been weighed, measured and found wanting.

        5. No-I’m pretty sure you just jumped to your own conclusions because I mention it directly in my original comment, even though I responded to your accusation and brought up how I felt about people who prey on children in my last reply .
          I’m not going to bother wasting any more time arguing with you. You could have ignored my original comment which is what I should have done. Sayonara

        6. Yes. Exit and don’t look back.
          Pedophiles aren’t welcome here.

        7. And you just keep circling the drain with your baseless insults and asinine dribble.

      2. I forgot to add that I wasn’t going to bother trying to explain how trans people are actual individuals and not the predatory creeps you think they were because you’re likely not going to change your mind.

  35. I knew this article would show up sooner or later. People are really gonna have it out for Roosh now, haha, but it’s not like Roosh would care about that! Hilarious shit.

  36. I can already see the headlines: “Misogynist MRA blogger Roosh V admits to raping women in restrooms in scandalous article”
    That was a great read. Serious Roosh is good but satirical Roosh is just outstanding.

    1. Cannot fucking wait to see the
      “My testing showed that appearing within her stall will not lead to the bang ”
      picture in the headlines, hell I think I would take this picture more seriously then the garbage they put out in newspaper nowdays. Weren’t journalist by default supposed to be neutral? I sure don’t see them neutral when I read newspapers.

    2. Exactly, I was thinking the same thing. Headline: “ROK Rapists Plan Secret Meetings in Target Restrooms”

  37. hahahaha fuck I laughed so much at this.
    The pictures really complete this article!

  38. Like the photos. Article was pretty good. As usual, visuals unbeatable. Hilarious.

  39. heh. Gaming in a Target Women’s bathroom. I smell a “How to bang chicks in a Target bathroom” book coming out 😀

  40. Hilarious article. The pictures make it.
    Just a little tip: fat chicks sound like a race horse pissing and skinnies just tinkle. Probably has something to do with mass + force under pressure will = increase accoustic volume.
    Have you tried a dolly parton wig and a sheath dress with a padded bra?

  41. Standing outside the restroom in Target, waiting for my wife to finish her business. She finally comes out, but looks a little flustered.
    “What’s the matter?” I ask.
    She shakes her head irratatedly. “Oh, there was just this creep in there – a guy! – who wouldn’t stop talking to me.”
    “Did he have a black beard and ask where the pet store was?”
    “How did you know?!”
    “Intuition.”
    What a sorry world we live in. Even when not in Target, I don’t feel safe sending my daughters to any toilet anymore because there might be men in there. We’d have to seek out the single stall disabled toilet, instead.

  42. Telegraph UK:
    “Return of Kings Rape Advocates Plan Meetings in Target Restrooms”

  43. They will also be open to anal sex as they see one man sticking it in another as not disgusting but as beautiful love making.

  44. Target is a family store for Pete’s sake but the idea of running skeet in the crapper does have its merits though. How many times when opening have you or her suddenly had to take a whiz? Riiight – the pot is right there so you can continue your jive without breaking it off for a moment when it’s most essential to build rapport. But Target? Naah, there’s a place for everything.
    https://farm4.staticflickr.com/3726/9249936869_ef78dd1185_c.jpg
    Open and shut.

  45. Once Roosh releases the new Return of Kings t-shirts, we should totally do this is the new merchandise 😉

  46. I have found that the change room at the YMCA works just as well. It’s best to check the schedule first because you don’t want an organized group of school girls coming in and ruining your conversation with your intended target.

  47. I looked at this and laughed my ass off more the 2nd time. Almost choked on coffee. Read it a few days ago in passing, did not appreciate it for its true value as a masterpiece in lampoon journalism.Sent it to some liberal friends as leftists seldom get a chance to laugh any more.
    Brilliant use of primitive cut and paste. You will likely see it on feministing.com as proof that Roosh is going in ladies rooms to harass and rape women.

  48. I’m shocked the feminist and SJW blogs and sites haven’t posted stories about how Roosh is “raping” women in Target bathrooms. Maybe they do have the IQ to differentiate what’s real and what’s parody. Meh, probably not, I’m giving them way too much credit…

  49. I can’t wait to see the shit storm this causes. My scotch is ready.

    1. Not a very Christian attitude given your self-disclosed belief system, dear.

Comments are closed.