We’ve all heard the term “charisma” many times in our lives—the animal magnetism that makes somebody attractive to complete strangers, that twinkle in the eye that makes somebody seem utterly likeable and/or relatable, or alternatively the radiation of power and gravitas that makes people fall to their knees in awe. But do you have any idea of how to get it?
Most people would argue that you can’t “get” charisma; it’s something that you’re either born with or not born with, and those without have to be content to live the rest of their lives as the equivalent of a fart in church, never commanding an ounce of respect from anybody and being entirely ineffectual.
Wrong.
I used to think this way myself, but if you know me, you’ll know that I believe the vast majority of problems you have can be fixed with enough concerted effort—very few of your problems are etched in stone. Perhaps it is a side effect of working as a personal trainer and having to trawl for clients, but having to put in efforts to be a salesman has led to me to researching ways to increase my charisma. And, if my early adoption is any indication, it does work, and will only continue to work with practice.
What is Charisma?
Charisma is defined by Olivia Cabane in The Charisma Myth as various verbal and non-verbal cues that radiate three core aspects: power, presence, and warmth (and before anybody starts whining about the fact that I dare to occasionally take advice from a woman, I will point out that said woman advises numerous corporate CEOs and politicians, so I’ll take her advice over, say, the clods that I profile on my “Pick Up Assholes” Youtube show).
The emphasis in that paragraph is nonverbal cues: bear in mind that the majority of human evolution was done in times without verbal language at all, and thus your body language will project those three things far more than any words ever could.
Also bear in mind that being charismatic does not necessarily mean you have to be the stereotypical loud, boisterous, swaggering “Chad”. One can certainly have a quiet and dignified charisma—think Winston Churchill or Henry Kissinger—divisiveness of their politics aside, they certainly had their way with words—and those two examples also indicate that you certainly don’t need to be physically attractive to be charismatic.
And finally, realize that you don’t need to change your personality to be charismatic—think of it as learning certain skills or techniques, and then picking and choosing those techniques to best suit your personality. There are so many techniques that I have learned from various sources that it will take a few future articles, but there are three incredibly simple techniques that you can implement right now, without any practice or preparation, to increase your charisma right now.
1. Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences
It’s practically a cliche at this point to mock the Valley Girl-ish “uptalk” and “vocal fry”, but it’s only a cliche because it’s that important: Whether you are a man or woman, but especially a man, stop doing that shit!
It’s not commanding, it doesn’t show you to have a strong presence, and the sheer cringiness of this type of vocalization means you won’t be conveying much warmth either. Nobody will take you seriously regardless of your sex, but the effeminacy of uptalk and vocal fry makes it doubly so for men. So cut it out.
2. Slow down your speech; reduce how often and quickly you nod and gesture
Think of somebody likes James Bond, or a regal and dignified king: does he twitch his head and speak rapidly, and spastically flap his arms? No, he’s slow, smooth, and deliberate—he has poise. In contrast, a nervous person who is trying desperately to impress or assuage somebody spews forth a stream of verbiage, and is constantly nodding and gesturing to confirm to the dominant person in the conversation that he is in agreement.
The analogy I’m going to use may sound a bit inane but hear me out: do you remember an old Looney Tunes short titled Tree for Two? I just linked to it: go watch it, and take note of how the little dog acts. Go out of your way to not be like him, and that’s a rough idea of how poise works.
Don’t do this
3. Constructive Pauses
This is related to the second one but, again, don’t spew forth a torrent of words. Speak slowly and intelligently.
Beyond those three, there are a wide variety of charismatic techniques that all seem to revolve around “Tricking” your mind to get into a state of power, warmth, or presence. As a side note, while doing research I thought that this might be why politicians and actors tend to be sociopaths or… just abject miserable human beings: because they are mental “blank slates” that they can “paint” emotions upon. Similarly, this might explain why cult leaders can get their followers—because they genuinely delude themselves into believing their own bullshit.
But perhaps that will be a discussion for another day. Do the three techniques above, and start on your charismatic journey.
Read More: Red Pill Wisdom From Patrice O’Neal
I´m a stutter and a fast talker, I talk to fast that I get stuck in word, I´m not a tatatatatata stutter, well not that much, my real problem is the other kind of stuttering, the stuck in words, in word starting with P and C and K, sometimes T. instead of stuttering like “The CacacacaCAR is Red” is more like “The Ck…, The CK….AAAR! is red” which is worst.
For me, what cured it was focusing solely on cadence.
are you louis Ck ?
k-k-k-Ken from “A Fish Called Wanda.”
“One can certainly have a quiet and dignified charisma—think Winston Churchill or Henry Kissinger—divisiveness of their politics aside, they certainly had their way with words”
Are you f-ing kidding me??? Why on earth would any sane person pick those two twats as examples of charisma? It’s been proven conclusively that many of the speeches and radio shows with Churchill produced and aired by the BBC around the WW 2 era were fake — a stand-in by the name of Shelly was typically used instead because Winston preferred sleeping in and drinking champagne while taking a 2-hour bath.
Ultra-evil Kissinger was almost always reading from his zionist script and is rumored to have enjoyed raping new marine recruits as a hobby.
Yet, these 2 degenerate pederasts supposedly had world-class charisma???
Well said Allister. Without his chronic alcohol dependency, Churchill would have come across as rather flaccid I think!
I think this article could have been so much more. Like the term ‘alpha’, charisma is largely a misused label. People who are truly charismatic are born that way. One who is not born with this innate ability to immediately tower over everyone else as soon as he walks into any room cannot ‘become charismatic’ from learning a few traits: the best anyone can do from that starting point is mimic some of the traits, but deep down, few are truly fooled.
It’s also important to note that when it comes to possession of ‘charisma’, it’s not a case of you’re either at zero or 100%. There is without doubt in my mind a sliding scale of charisma, for example, someone such as Hitler being a 100 (as anyone who has seen footage of his appearance among civilians would agree), Elvis being a 95, and Clint Eastwood say, being around a 35-40. [in case anyone’s wondering, on that scale, i’d have The Donald at around 70-75. I would argue that those above 90 literally no longer exist, not in this world]
Proclaim the end times are here (they are, so it’s a half truth), shout about it a lot on street corners and to anyone who will listen. The pussy is sure to follow
Only because the post-war world is an age of mass-mediocrity, courtesy of plutocratic-democracy. We live in a world of standardization of opinion. But it wasn’t always so …
Get over behaviors developed for years is not that easy, and even if you have enough concentration to avoid them, sooner or later, your nature goes back to the surface.
Just because that old nature comes back sometimes doesn’t mean you’re not making progress. If you’ve been fat and out of shape your whole life, it’s going to take massive, sustained effort to change that. But that doesn’t mean you can’t, and most importantly it doesn’t mean that just because you fuck up sometimes and eat a whole pizza that you’ve not made yourself into a better man in the process.
I doesn’t mean I think it is impossible to change, but you may have to put is lots of serious efforts.
Do not argue with people. Arguing is WOMEN’S treat. Men try to convince others to his believes. I see too many guys this days who love trolling or quarrelling for sport. If you can’t change someone’s attitude or thinking just turn around on your heels and calmly walk away.
Fighting is a little different because usually men do it with each other as a last resort as per problem-solution-resolution, and then something amazing happens…they bond immediately. It is almost like a nonsexual, pleasureless ejaculation or something because the second it ends, the conflict and animosity ends. The poison has been expelled. We have all likely experienced the cliche story about enemies who fought it out and then became best friends – that only happens between men.
Sometimes fighting is good because sometimes all somebody needs is a good smack across the face to quash their temporary insanity, like cool water splashed across your face. Sometimes a bloody nose is all it takes to reverse the opinion of an inveterate person, who would not listen otherwise.
But women feed off melodrama. They can return to a conflict decades later no matter how great or minuscule it is because it reifies their egocentrism and makes them feel important by causing conflict around them, and being at the center of anything that negatively affects people they love, hate or are indifferent to.
Fantastic article! I agree with the author 100%. Charisma is an inborn trait for some people, but for most of them they learned it inadvertantly because they were RAISED by people with charisma. Think of a man you know who is smooth, genial, warm, engaging, etc., and I’ll bet you $100 that their father is the same way.
But don’t despair. It is learned behavior just like anything else. My dad was charismatic in his own way but he spent very little time at home. I didn’t really learn how to act around adults or women by watching him. By the time I was a teenager and ready to leave home, I had pretty much resigned myself to being an introverted dork. Not that there’s anything inherently wrong with that – but it wasn’t really what I WANTED to be. It just was.
The best thing that happened to me was joining the military and getting around a wider variety of people. Here’s the best advice I can give a guy who feels uncomfortable talking to strangers, or thinks that he doesn’t have good charisma or interpersonal skills: go out and INTENTIONALLY find someone who does have those traits, and do everything you can to mimic their behavior. What do they do? How do they stand? or walk? Watch their face when they speak with people. Do they maintain eye contact? For how long? Do they laugh a lot, or not at all? Do they tell jokes or stories? Do they ask people questions? etc. etc. etc.
You only have one life. Become the man you want to be. If you don’t give a shit about charisma then don’t worry about it and focus on something else. But for me I thought it was a real weakness of mine and so I made a concerted effort when I was about 19 or 20 to change it. And I did. 20 years on and now I’m used to being the friendly, charismatic guy in the group. It’s who I am now.
“1. Lower the intonation of your voice at the end of sentences”
This is misleading. I train salespeople and speak publicly. Yes, this is masculine and powerful for public speaking. It also raises defenses. So if you’re giving a command on the battlefield or to your subordinates, great. If you’re attempting to persuade someone while de-escalating an objection, RAISING your voice at the end of your proposal has shown to create more rapport and trust. Jordan Belfort (the wolf of wall street guy) trains on this exact detail in depth during his seminars as well.
Yes, and it’s not the same as up-toning into a femme-y question mark at the end of a statement, either. I think the difference is “speaking from knowing something resolutely” on one hand, and “thinly covering for being a retard” on the other end of the spectrum.
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Separately, vocal fry is a bizarre social contagion, an intonation designed to lift those who feel a need to sound wealthier or more successful/authoritative when there is mostly vapor and stupidity going on behind the eyes. Hence, vapid. Too many west coast women/girls are down to adopt an “inferior male” tone. That, of course, is when they’re not busy adding grating, pointless “like-like-likes” to every sentence. Masters of annoyance…I immediately screen it out; in women, such vocal combos are early-warning red flags and it’s sometimes hilarious to see me hauling ass to avoid it. The worst is when two or more get together…the dismal din it creates will temporarily lower the entire ambient IQ in the room.
DAVID
Great point. I am a former salesman myself, so let me tell you this;
“The only thing standing between you and your goal is the bullshit story you keep telling yourself as to why you can’t achieve it.” Jordan Belfort
I’m reading Way Of The Wolf now. Bought it a month ago. Just started reading it.
Best of fortune to you.
If lowering your voice at the end of a sentence psychologically implies a command position, I think thats where you want to be.
Finish your thought in one short paragraph, make a logical conclusion, don’t restart re-making your point after you finish just to keep talking or hold the stage.
Maintain friendly eye contact in social situations, intense when you don’t want to be fucked with.
Use silence to either let or force the other person to talk, depending again on situation.
Use humour in social situations, everyone will listen to a joke or funny story, and you hold frame in a friendly way.
These are also good shit test busters, but tend to be nuclear…i.e.it says……”Your shit test is over because I don’t give a fuck and you don’t have anything that makes it worth winning..”
Indeed there is much shit-lording to do when the tone and tempo is correct. And eye contact is key, at least in the United States…it’s different when you’re in Japan or certain other Asian countries, where indirect eye contact can be the cultural norm…but as Americans, the initial gaze acknowledges the presence of another in a forthright manner, and establishes the leading edge of your frame. For a lot of westerners it’s right up there with punctuality as a time-honored “politeness of kings.”
I love that Looney Tunes cartoon. Anyone else notice that those old cartoons were the gold standard and today there is nothing but shit for kids to watch today. Like I was looking at some today and they are either politically charged or degenerate. I guess the entertainment and art of the day really is drawn from the cultural values of the people who create it.
You can get the boomerang streaming service and watch old cartoons there, no leftist crap.
Same here, I ended up watching 10 of them in a row. Was thinking the same thing about how they’re different. If you notice, all the stories revolve around predator-prey dynamic, and the story often followed the classical music backing it. It was simple, structured and cool. Now-a-days it more freeform, like we have South Park with it’s social commentary, or we have Simpsons with it’s social commentary, or we have Family Guy with it’s social commentary. And the list goes on. But, we also have Pokemon, Dragon Ballz and all the manga style stories. And where would we be without My Little Pony? The world would feel empty without Brony’s. But I don’t really give a fuck, we have more cartoons today than any time in the history of time. Obviously. So I can always just download the classics and chill.
You can be more charismatic by simply being good at something and staying stoic regardless of the outcome, even being predictable. The Hustler is a great example of this. The yipping, arrogant and unpredictable Paul Newman is so used to being good that he taunts everybody and becomes apprehensive the second he is losing because he is inexperienced in defeat. Juxtapose him next to Jackie Gleason, who has more charisma by saying next to nothing, and is not afraid of the outcome because it’s not whether you win or lose, it’s how you look. The win is not as rewarding, but the loss is not as crippling. Ricky Hatton’s perfect career ended because he couldn’t handle just one defeat in the ring.
The same principle applies to stopping yourself from being an interloper. A few weeks ago I was on a treadmill and noticed somebody had left a wallet. I immediately looked around, did not see anybody so I dropped it off at the front desk. Then a few minutes later a guy was wandering around freaking out, and I asked him if he lost it, and then told him it was up front. So he went through a whole series of emotions for nothing, and probably suspected me of wrongdoing.
So the other day on was on the same treadmill and again noticed that a wallet was there. This time I deliberated for a bit, but did nothing. Then a few minutes later, another guy strolled by calmly and said ‘sorry, I left my wallet,’ and that was that.
I broke up a fight (even though I did not know anybody there) at roadside memorial on my street, which had made international headlines because it was a hate crime (white man murdered by black/Hispanics), but never again. It was none of my business. The little immigrant Balkan guy flicked a cigarette in an old drunken black bitch’s forehead passing by because she was making it all about herself. I should have let him clock her.
Chivalry is not rewarded. It does not pay. No good deed goes unpunished. Nice guys don’t finish last….nice guys don’t finish at all.
Watch out for submissive eye and head movement when you’re responding to being challenged or questioned. Look up not down !
Americans are going to be sent to the ovens, but everyone is afraid of speaking up and resisting because they might be killed.
Female privilege in Feminist America Land of the Cunts!
www bestgore com/murder/oklahoma-female-bail-bond-agent-shoot-client-dead-cold-blood-scot-free/
If you get triggered easily by men being gunned down by a feminist working as an agent of the prison complex, the man was unarmed and the feminist shot at him with a firearm point blank at a very close range!
She was acquitted by a feminist and mangina jury! It shows how men in America (and probably the rest of the Western world) can get gunned down by feminists and the feminist will be considered the victim of misogyny!
www(dot)bestgore(dot)com/road-accidents/bridge-collapse-florida-international-university-women-built/
You missed stressing “Im a flag, Im a flag!”
Those first two were dead on, working in sales has helped me cut of my Valley girl sound, I am from California. ..but I also move my hands a lot when talking. I have been told this my entire life, my dad use to joke and hold my hands and tell me to talk and it was hard. I watched a video of myself last summer camping and I was throwing my arms all over the place and I said to my self, if I didn’t jnow who that was I would think he was gay. I’ve have tried really hard to cut that out. Thanks for the post