The American basketball court is akin to the barbershop, bowling alley, shooting range, or golf course: one of the last few bastions of masculinity here in the West. The American basketball court offers a place for men to get away from Clown World and access powerful, competitive, group exercise.
The local basketball court is accessible to virtually anyone. You don’t need a gym membership; you don’t even need a ball. All you need to do is show up in sneakers and shorts. Local outdoor courts usually have set days and times that are popular, while others are more sporadic. Indoor gyms typically have set times or organized leagues. If you show up and the court isn’t highly populated, simply ask a local when the popular times are.
Ideally, you need ten guys. Eight is fine for full-court and six works for half-court. You can even play two-on-two, or one-on-one if attendance is low. At the court I go to, there are often ten guys on the court playing and several guys waiting. Sometimes, there are many as fifteen men waiting to get on the court.
Picking Teams
Let’s say there are twelve guys that show up. Teams are typically formed in two specific ways. Players line up and shoot from the free throw line and shoot one at a time. Teams are either decided via “first five,” where the first five guys who make a free throw are on a team, or “every other,” where the first guy to make a free throw is on Team A and the next guy to make a free throw is on Team B, and so on until both teams have five players.
When you miss your free throw, you go back to the end of the line in both “first five” and “every other” scenarios. If you don’t make a free throw, you sit out and are automatically on the next game.
Games are usually played to 11, 15, or 21. Normal buckets count as one point, while shots made beyond the three-point arc are counted as two. Typically, a team must win by two points.
Fouls are called via the honor system. The offense is allowed to call fouls but the defense is not, unless the foul is egregious. The defense can call out such infractions such as traveling or stepping out of bounds. No free throws are shot during pickup. When the offense is fouled, even in the act of shooting, it’s simply their ball.
If you don’t call fouls too often as an offensive player, you will gain respect. If you call fouls too often, the other players will lose respect for you, guaranteed.
The foul honor system is a major source of conflict. Fist fights, shoving matches, and arguments can break out as a result of disagreements over foul calls. The prospect of violence is part of the fun of pickup basketball. You should always be prepared to defend yourself.
You will be educated in tribalism during a game of basketball. When fights break out, sides are divided via tribal lines. It’s not wise to partake in a brawl if you are outnumbered ethnically. Certain ethnicities have a propensity towards the game of basketball because of their innate ability to run, shoot, and steal. Other ethnicities have a propensity for teamwork and strategy.
Some would advise not talking shit, I wouldn’t. If you can talk shit and back it up, it’s something I would highly advise. If you play well and talk shit, other players will respect you more. If you aren’t a good player, it’s best to play hard and keep quiet. If you are on fire, it’s best to remind others. Your teammates will pick up on this energy and feel more confident passing you the ball. There are few feelings that are better than dominating a game and talking shit to your opponents.
The team that wins stays on the court and keeps playing until they’re defeated. For the next game, the guys who were waiting due to failed free throw attempts are now automatically on. Any spots that need to be filled are earned via free throw.
Rules vary from city to city. Having played on courts all over the country, I can verify these are the general rules. A large percentage of American men are well-aware of these general rules and guidelines.
The Benefits Of Basketball
Players sprint, jump, shoot, shove, push, dribble, box out, steal, and foul. Playing basketball, I sweat more than any other workout that I do. At the end of a few games, I’m winded, tired, and drenched in sweat. I leave the court satisfied after competing at an intense level against my fellow men. Shooting a fadeaway jumper and making it is one of most satisfying feelings on earth. Lowering your shoulder and taking it to the hoop, rising above the rim, and finishing—ahh—is sometimes better than sex.
When A Woman Enters The Game
Unfortunately, you will get the occasional female that frequents the American basketball court. When a woman enters the game, the competitive nature of the sport totally declines. Players will stop playing hard, will leave the girl wide-open, or stop playing defense all together. Players on her team will pass her the ball when she is left wide-open, while the man who is supposed to be guarding her neglects his duties. The man who is assigned to guard her won’t play hard out of fear of injuring her.
When a female enters the game, your best options are to keep playing to get a good cardio workout, sit out a game, or simply leave, as I do often when this occurs.
In sharp contrast to females playing hoop, always be wary of fat guys. A seemingly universal rule of pickup basketball is that if there’s a fat guy on the court, he can shoot. Fat guys are lazy defenders but are often the most devastating shooters on the court, especially from long range.
I advise getting some good basketball sneakers. Players are often judged on their footwear and your teammates will pass you the ball more often if you look like a player.
We are living in an era where American man probably spends more time playing basketball video games than actually playing. My advice is to get out there and play, because you have nothing to lose but excess body fat.
Read More: 10 Ways That Modern Society Lowers Your Testosterone Levels
I played pick-up streetball all the time as a teenager but now that I’m in my 40’s I think that I’d look a little silly out there on the court.
Same here.
Why do you think you’d look silly? If you’re good at it, stop being self-conscious about how you look and go play! Wouldn’t it make you feel good to outplay the younger guys?
It is true that as you age your ability to keep up is reduced but if you keep at it you can perform well. There is one drawback – you need to be careful with “pushing yourself” so if for some reason you do feel winded or really not too well even after 10 minutes just sit down and drink. No need to prove anything. Overtime your stamina will likely improve. The major benefit is that your fitness level will be double or triple your peers. I certainly cant keep up like I did in my teens/twenties but I can smash most guys my own age (50s).
Yep. Just maybe half to change your style up a little. I use to just run. I was quick as shit and usually the best dribbler on the court. I played older guys that just knew how to post up and throw some elbows. They’d do well just as long as they didn’t come out to the 3 point line and try to guard me. I could run for 4 straight hours in the summer in 90+ degree weather. Fucking insane now that I look back. Could never even dream of doing that now. Who knows though.
I started playing very young. Played against mostly black kids which made me good. By late teens, early 20s I was bustin’ most of their asses. Nothing like going to a court where it’s 95% black and just ballin’. I did think I was going to get jumped one time when I was making some of them look bad when a guy who I was guarding just took the ball and threw it right in my face. Nose shot. I just kept going. Always got respect by the end of the game.
One and only sport I truly loved playing. If you’re good at basketball I find you’ll probably good at almost any other sport. To me it’s the most athletic sport you can play.
I am older too and pretty banged up and couldn’t play if I wanted too. But in any case, the 2 outdoor courts nearest to me have been dismantled. Naturally they attracted a certain demographic, and after numerous fights and even one murder, the city fathers quietly did away with those bb courts. Yet another thing in my area ruined by the dindus.
I dunno man. I lived on the court in my teens and early 20s. There were older dudes, at least in their 40s, out there bustin’ people’s ass. My goal by something is to get back to where I use to be in terms of playing ball. Miss it.
When I was in Guatamala about 15 years ago, I participated in a pickup game. It ws BRUTAL. Basketball at 7,000 elevation when you live at 600 feet is TOUGH. Same goes for racketball at 8,000 feet (in Colorado).
I’m 58 and can still do it with the youngsters. Get out there and get conditioned!
How long can you play with players much younger?
Pickup B-ball will likely get you injured by some dirty player. I was tripped intentionally with my ankle sprained and elbowed to where my tooth got chipped both more than once. I would have beat the shit out of these guys but didn’t feel like going to jail or getting kicked out as they took place at a YMCA and Gold’s Gym.
One time these guys shoot for teams without even telling me despite the fact I was one of the first ones there. I didn’t even get to shoot. Then this guy tells me if I make a half court shot I can play, I make it, and the faggot still doesn’t give up his spot. I stay on the court standing in the middle in protest while these faggots play. I intentionally try to disrupt them by throwing my ball at their ball while the shot is in mid air. This black dude comes and throws my ball out the door of the gym. I tell him to go get it. He refuses. I push him in the shoulder blades out of frustration. I back up at least 10 feet to show I’m not trying to start a fight and the n***** turns goes ape-mode and punches me giving me a bloody nose. Retaining my composure, I leave the gym and call the police. The police show up, question a few guys and say I might be charged for assault too so I decline to press charges. That’s the last time I played pickup. I suggest to anyone not to play with young black dudes unless they like fighting because you’re gonna get in one with the types who play basketball. Don’t play with teenagers under 18 either.
I would suggest to avoid blacks at all times regardless of the circumstances. I see no possible upside.
Plenty of non-blacks around to play basketball with…
Shoulder checking a brother could get you killed in the parking lot.
Learn to fight before you pull shit like that again.
Get it in your head white man. Non whites fucking despise you and do not care of rules or playing fair with you. Get tribal or go extinct.
Damn dude. You act like a fucking tool then you’re surprised when someone smacks you? You need someone to fucking tell you that they are shooting for teams? Don’t you have eyes? Where the hell were you? Kinda hard to hide 15 dudes lining up with one ball. Then you straight got in the way instead of being chill and realizing you fucked up. By this post you STILL don’t realize you are the issue. Throwing a ball at them, standing in the court, pushing a guy. Nice tantrum you threw. They let you off a hell of a lot easier than I would have. I would have dropped a shoulder into you on the way by and run you into the cement without ever missing a dribble. Be better.
LOL, you started some shit and called the cops when you got popped.
Be ready for non-stop bitching and moaning from some dumb punk in his twenties who feels he “could of played in the NBA” (yes you read that correctly, “could of.”) Ten minutes into the game it will take one hundred percent of your will power to not punch someone in the face.
By far the most useless post i have ever seen on here. Roosh, you actually paid this guy???
“…Certain ethnicities have a propensity towards the game of basketball because of their innate ability to run, shoot, and steal…”
Fucking priceless, man. Nailed it.
Just play it in the Philippines and you will see tribalism to the next level.
They may lack stature and shoes but they come armed and ready to murder you if all hell breaks loose.
Filipinos are like the Ni**ers of East Asia. Pretty much the only country in the region with any kind of significant crime rate.
what a coincidence: https://www.africaresource.com/rasta/sesostris-the-great-the-egyptian-hercules/the-black-roots-of-the-philipines-by-philipino/
Filipinos are mostly degenerates. Watch a few documentaries about the Philippines to get an idea of what a shithole it is. Western men should avoid looking for brides there.
Surprising how obsessed they are with basketball not to mention American ghetto culture considering they’re a nation of short asses.
They would be better of aspiring to greatness in other sports where a genetic height requirement is pretty much mandatory.
Same could be said for any kid that invests in the sport. If ma and pa ain’t really tall then you can forget of any dreams of becoming pro.
Love playing pick up ball. I talk a ton of shit on defense. Reminding the guy he will not score easy. Always a great sweat and great camaraderie. I even enjoy just doing shoot around by myself at the park.
Nice! In my home country in Spain, every village has an open air public court called Frontón. It is another sport (a variation of tennis), but the spirit and the rules of pick up basketball are the same. I love to spend the whole day in the court!
Hey, Americans, if you are really brave, try this traditional sport, Basque Ball, you have to kick the ball with your bare hands and…well…the ball is a piece of wood rapped with bands of rubber and leather.
No interest in playing monkey ball. Keep that trash out of my neighborhood
Lmao at your name XD
“Monkey ball” was developed and created by an educated white doctor.
I currently play in an indoor winter league as my way of biding time for when baseball season comes around (I mean play, not watch of course). I highly recommend joining a league to all men of all ages and experience levels if you can afford to. Great way to release stress and what have you.
Thug ball. No thanks. I don’t have tats, not black and I know how to speak English.
This is actually a great article! I don’t even mind the ethnic shit talking in the comments. Though, a bit uncool since there aren’t any brothas here to defend themselves. Men shit talking eachother is good. Thinking you’re better than someone because you’re white makes you complacent and therefore weak. The occasional fist fight IS GOOD FOR THE SOUL, but can also agree that nomatter the race if they’re sticking together and you’re outnumbered DE-ESCALATE THE SITUATION.
I always liked playing pick up. Had some athletic ability, could pass, dribble a little bit, and had some size but total broken outside shot which didn’t make it very fun when playing against good players.
“Players are often judged on their footwear and your teammates will pass you the ball more often if you look like a player.”
Great, shoe-obsessed faggotry on the court. Sign me up for more of that!
Pickup Basketball is great and all, but seeing as I’m white as they come, I don’t think the “hood niggas” would allow me to step a foot inside the court.