Culture

The Rising Epidemic Of Men Falsely Claiming To Be Military Veterans

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Return Of Kings has more than a few veterans among its readership.  Many of you are probably familiar with the crime that is a cardinal sin among anyone who actually wore a uniform with honor: Stolen Valor.

Stolen Valor is the crime of claiming military medals, awards or accomplishments that one has not legitimately earned.  There was an act passed in 2005 that made Stolen Valor a crime.  However, this was struck down by the Supreme Court on the grounds of free speech.  Honestly, they were probably correct in doing so: making a lie (while not under oath) a crime is a slippery slope that could be utilized by the Social Justice Warriors.  Thankfully, Congress passed another act in 2013 making Stolen Valor a crime ‘if used for material gain.’

Semper Fries! This fake marine was caught by a local police sergeant.  The investigation later revealed he was a drug addict.

It is considered something of an epidemic within the veterans community.  Stolen Valor investigator (and legit Navy SEAL) Don Shipley has estimated that there is only one genuine Navy SEAL for every 300 people claiming to be a Navy SEAL.

The crime of Stolen Valor is considered by many leftists to be a “victim-less” crime.  However, Stolen Valor is typically accompanied by a host of other crimes: fraud, embezzlement and even murder.  Check out Jonn Lilyea’s thisainthell.us blog for a large listing of Stolen Valor investigations, and you’ll find that the vast majority of them involve numerous other criminal behaviors.

Some leftists claim that Stolen Valor is free speech. As their hypocrisy knows no limits, they go after Milo for exercising his right to free speech.

What This Says About Society Today

In 2017, we live under the ravages of feminism, SJW’s and a liberal ‘fake news’ media.  The American Man, as an ideal concept, has been destroyed by years of feminist indoctrination at school and at home: it has become generational, as parents teach the same toxic values to their boys that they learned as children.

As much as the SJW’s would hate to admit it, you cannot fight biology: men have a desire to be warriors and receive glorious accolades for their toughness and courage in battle.  Part of the damage done by Cultural Marxism is that in the past, Victoria Crosses and Medals of Honor were earned, whereas today most beta men feel that they are entitled to the honors and accolades without earning them.

All of this culminates to create a society of men who feel the temptation to seek honor and status without actually doing the things to gain (or be worthy of) such accolades and feel completely okay about it.  They only show remorse when they get caught: the whole time they were deceiving people at the bar, they were okay with it.

In fact, one of the causes of Stolen Valor might be the general slut culture western women have embraced: when female 5s and 6s think they can get male 9s and 10s, many betas who have not been introduced to game may claim military accolades in order to compete.

The Next Move for Social Justice Warriors

In the spirit of participation trophies and gender “identity,” I expect the Social Justice Warriors to start standing behind those guilty of Stolen Valor. Why?  Because if you “identify” as a Navy SEAL or decorated Combat Infantryman, you should be able to call yourself one.

In the name of equality, I see the standard for non-white soldiers receiving the Medal of Honor, Silver Star and Bronze Star w/V to decrease significantly in order to make sure that the recipients are “ethnically diverse” and “properly representative” of their proportion of the population.

In fact, I already saw this happen in Iraq: The award of the coveted Combat Infantryman Badge (and the Combat Action Badge for non-Infantry soldiers) to soldiers in the U.S. Army was seriously de-legitimized.  For those who do not know, the Combat Infantryman Badge and Combat Action Badge is awarded to soldiers for actually being in combat.  It is generally expected that one must have fired their weapon in anger, had weapons fired at them in anger, or been close enough to indirect fire (such as artillery or mortars) to have been plausibly injured by it.

By 2008 in Iraq, soldiers were getting the award for being as far as 1km away from a mortar round hitting the FOB (Forward Operating Base).  At this range, they had no chance of being injured.

Why Men Commit Stolen Valor

Having read numerous cases posted at thisainthell.us and other Stolen Valor investigation sites, I’ve found that both alphas and betas commit this crime.

For betas, it is usually insufficiency, and the desire to get something without earning it.  Many of them are failures in life, and desire praise for their made-up accomplishments.  In some cases, betas who have actually served inflate their record because they didn’t live up to their own expectations.

Your average cucked beta with no accomplishments.

For alphas, it is almost always because they are good enough liars to fool people.  Some alphas that have committed Stolen Valor have even tricked some real Navy SEALs or U.S. Marines.  They often use these made-up awards to commit fraud to steal money from sympathetic audiences.

Stolen Valor and the Red Pill

Most men who commit Stolen Valor are the fat slobs we all abhor.

I would put it to the ROK readership that the manosphere should take a general stance against Stolen Valor.  Not only does Stolen Valor represent the degeneracy of the entitlement culture we have today, but it genuinely does harm to those who did honorably serve as Navy SEALs or Army Rangers.  Often times, these phony heroes are the obnoxious asshole at the bar who drinks too much and starts unnecessary fights.

There may be some among the readership here who feel that if someone claims to be a Navy SEAL to get laid, so what?  Women lie all the time in the sexual marketplace, so why can’t we?

I would first point out that if your game is solid and your frame is where it should be, you do not need to claim to be a war hero to have casual sex.  I believe such claims (even if legitimate) are a crutch that prevents men from developing their skill at game.  In fact, I don’t even bring up the fact that I served in the U.S. Army and did two deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan when speaking with women anymore.  The only exception is if the woman I am approaching was in the military as well, as it can be a good platform to open with.

Secondly, lying about military accolades can easily backfire.  As I will discuss in the next section, it generally quite easy for any legitimate veteran to sniff out Stolen Valor.  Given the large influx of “Stolen Valor call-outs” on YouTube in the past year or two, there is a good chance a legitimate veteran will call you out and make you “internet infamous.”  And probably embarrass you in front of any potential approaches within earshot.

Lastly, and most importantly, Stolen Valor is an inherently beta male act.  Even when con-men alphas are doing it.  It shows a lack of self-respect and self-confidence in one’s own real accomplishments.  It is a sign of the general laziness that parallels the “free college” Bernie Sanders fanatics.  If your frame is tight, and you are confident in yourself as a man, lies are not going to help you.  In fact, they are probably working against you by building up a false sense of security about yourself.  I would recommend using kratom over committing Stolen Valor.

Identifying Stolen Valor

Here are a few “tells” that should raise your eyebrows if you hear them at the bar or a local event.  You will often see these phonies wearing hats with pins or biker cuts with numerous patches.  Some are brazen enough to (badly) wear Army or Marine Corps uniforms in public.

1. They claim their record and awards are “classified.”  No awards are classified.  Although in some limited circumstances the mission surrounding the record may be classified, awards always show up on a DD-214 (the discharge paperwork every veteran has.)

2. They claim to have been a Navy SEAL.  Given the excellent self-promotion of the Navy SEALs, everyone seems to want to claim to be one.  As previously mentioned, Stolen Valor investigator Don Shipley has estimated that only 1 in 300 of claimed Navy SEALs are actually worthy of the title.  Always ask them what their BUD/S (Basic Underwater Demolition School) Class Number was.  If they can’t immediately say it, they are almost certainly not a Navy SEAL.

3. If they are claiming they were in the Army and served in Iraq or Afghanistan, make some joke about reflective PT belts.  If they laugh, they are probably legit.  Don’t ask why.

Believe it or not, this is probably a real U.S. Army Soldier.

4. Ask anyone claiming Army or Marine Corps service since the late 1980s “Where do they keep the keys to the HumVees?”  If their answer is anything other than “HumVees do not have keys,” they are almost certainly lying.

5. If they are acting loud, obnoxious or bragging about how they were Special Forces or a Navy SEAL, they are almost certainly not Army Special Forces or a Navy SEAL.  I’ve seen a lot of these guys around during my time in, and spoken with them.  They never break frame and have enormous amounts of self-discipline.  They are tough badasses, and they know it.  And they don’t need to tell the world how awesome they are.

Unfortunately, I expect cases of stolen valor to continue increasing as competition for women and resources get tougher.

Read More: 5 Tips To Raise A Strong Son

293 thoughts on “The Rising Epidemic Of Men Falsely Claiming To Be Military Veterans”

  1. It’s a special kind of asshole that does this. I LOVE the YouTube videos where they get caught.
    Almost as bad though is the real veteran who misrepresents their combat record. A buddy of mine (a combat veteran) busted this guy at a bar who claimed to have a bunch of confirmed kills but really hadn’t fired a weapon after basic. It was brutal to watch.

    2. I busted a guy for a much more basic thing: apparently he didn’t even get off the bus at basic training. He covers himself in Navy tattoos and acts like he took a serious injury near the end of training.
      Deadbeat kid who can’t stand authority and owes every loan agent in the state. No wonder he didn’t make the cut.

      1. Always thought it was amusing, all the kids that got marked up ‘before’ they went to the depot.

      2. He didn’t even get off the bus at boot camp? WHAT was the backstory to THAT?! Pathetic!

    3. These fuckers who walk around the mall in uniform are the best. Yeah, my Service Alphas with white trousers and a polished chrome helmet are appropriate libo attire. I also wear 5 Navy Crosses, 18 Silver Stars and 27 Navy Coms with V. I have so many Bronze Stars that I just had them sewn into the lining of my uniform. Now the entire inside of the blouse is that deep red with the little blue and white stripes. My belt is a continuous string of the PUCs I’ve been awarded sewn together in five rows top to bottom. I’ve added a couple inches to my waistline since getting out, but that’s OK because I incorporated some of my Legion of Merit Medals (with V and silver star for five awards each) into a bitchin’ belt buckle clasp. Unfortunately, I only got 8 distinguished flying crosses and a pathetic 10 Air Medals. But I did get five Victoria Crosses, and Hitler was so impressed with my prowess at the battle of San Juan Hill that he retroactively awarded me three Iron Crosses. I also have the Order of the Knights Templar and a few awards that are too secret to talk about. All the generals envy my shit and ask me to speak at fifth grade assemblies, commencement ceremonies for special education schools and, most near and dear to my heart, conventions of war widows where I regale them with tales of blood and guts and unspeakable horror. It helps them to know that their loved ones perished in unbelievable terror and agony, covered in gore while I blazed away at the enemy racking up more confirmed that I shouldn’t really be talking about because I was a secret Delta Force, Navy Seal, Ranger commando master assassin. I was a one man killing machine from the time I was 16, dropped behind enemy lines to mutilate children and scare the civilians. Because I was alone, I had no logistics and I had to cannibalize the corpses of the enemy I killed. They gave me some medals for being such a hard ass, but they were so secret, I was sworn never to talk about them or they’d kill me. After I got back home, I just didn’t feel like talking about the war much – no one understood. So I drank myself stupid and eventually I found that wearing my uniform in wildly inappropriate circumstances helped. Eventually, I just learned to accept it. But I’m not the real hero – they all died over there.

      1. I was near a Navy Federal today, bunch of Army guys walking around in their ACUs. Hey, fuckfaces, the nearest Army base is 3 hours from here…

        1. I don’t want to start an inter-service shit show, but wearing cammies in public is nasty as fuck. That shit wasn’t allowed in the Marines (when I was in at least), and we were proud of it.
          [Digs in and fixes bayonet to repel butthurt army and air force comments].

        2. It used to be like that for soldiers, but Army regs were loosened after OIF kicked off only because there were so many traveling on civilian flights when on their mid-tour leave. Why they didn’t enact the III Corps. standard to carry a set of civilian clothes on their deployment packing list to be worn with their PT shoes is beyond me.

        3. I wore class A’s in public, once, after graduating medic school, we got a civilian flight home immediately after, so all the med school grads were at San Antonio airport in class As. Never wore my cammies in public though, no reason to.
          Not like we had anything to show off, I had my PV2 rank and like a service medal and my sharpshooter medal or something on it.
          Never wore it in public otherwise, gave away all my shit to goodwill when I got out that CIF didn’t take back.
          Lol, for the butthurt army comments, I have a lot of veteran friends from all branches, only difference I’ve seen between Marines and Army was they had 2 weeks longer in basic training than the Army. Pretty much Marine basic is harder than regular Army basic, but not as hard as Army Infantry basic. I know my basic was a joke.

        4. “Not as hard as Army Infantry basic.” Dude, you need to go visit Parris Island and get back to me.

        5. Actually, wearing our greens off base when I was in Uncle Sam’s Airplane Farce (late seventies / early eighties) was frowned upon. Same if you were going to the Airman’s club or NCO club. We did have a greens bar, with strippers no less. But it was dress blues or civvies off base, no fatigues. No butthurt from this former Airdale. From what I can see they must be encouraging GIs to strut around Walmart in their BDUs nowadays.

        6. I always joke with my fellow veterans that “I thought about going in the military but joined the Air Force instead!” It’s always good for laugh and usually gets a response like “Yeah, if I’d a been smarter I’d have done the same thing.”

        7. I have plenty of Marine veteran friends. Army infantry basic is definitely more difficult, though I agree that regular Army basic is a joke. Working with my veteran’s college group on campus, I had plenty of people of all branches to talk to pretty regularly.
          My childhood was brutal and strict, anyways, so even Marine basic would probably have felt comparatively easy, so I might be a tad biased on that account.
          Even so, I’ve done way harder shit, thru hiking the Appalachian Trail comes to mind.
          I got nothing against Marines, I know there is a ton of interbranch joking and all kinds of shit, and I take that in stride, and at the end of the day, we all had each other’s backs if something were to happen. Mainly some of the dudes would be way overblown with it, and it’s cool, pride of being a Marine and all, but a lot of that shit gets carried too far. I grew up in TN, with a rifle in my hand from since I could walk, so even going into the Army, I was a better shot than Marines graduating, just from years of experience. Nothing wrong with that. Just I gotta stop and tell them it’s cool, no one is impressed, I’ve done way harder shit in my life.
          Served in Iraq with the Army, and there were Marines fighting too. We were all about equal in effectiveness from what I could tell.
          I know the “once a Marine, always a Marine” thing, and that makes sense. But I’ve had a couple bring it up in a conversation when I was at a bar. Most of the veterans were cool to each other, but a couple were complete assholes. I told him anyone that was in the Army will always be a soldier for life, as well, so absolutely no difference there. It’s not like you get out and forget all the training and experiences, and I built on it after with private firearms courses.

    4. My former ROTC cadet commander was busted a few years ago wearing medals he didn’t earn. He was a LtCol at the time. I think they let him retire. I feel a bit sorry for him, to have that shame of doign that sitting on your shoulder. I suppose accolades can become like a drug for some, the need for acknowledgement and praise.

      2. Maybe they’re just publicized more, but it seems like the higher-ups are more guilty of this than anyone else.

        1. I think it is more of a scandal when a distinguished officer does it. Officers are held to higher standards than enlisted for that kind of thing. They can even wind up in Levenworth for some indiscretions. Even infidelity is a crime if you are an officer. That’s what they got one of the first female fighter pilots for. She was shagging a married guy, and got caught.

        2. Adultery is a crime for everyone, just a very high burden of proof regarding it.

      3. Chris Kyle did some amazing things, but still felt the need to make up stories about himself (e.g. Hurricane Katrina looters).

    5. Frank Dux, famous martial artist of the 80-90’s who the movie Bloodsport was supposedly about, was a total phony. This man also lied about his military service and his lies were listed in the book Stolen Valor.
      I found it amusing one time when I ruined this young kid’s hopes and dreams by telling him this fact. He was worshiping this Dux guy and said he was undefeated in the “kumite” when I could no longer hold my laughter in. I broke the news to him and he got very quiet then left.
      Usually(but not always) the loudest self promoters are total phonies. An experienced man can tell the difference between a loudmouthed phony and a legit worldbeater who is capitalizing on self promotion(ala Conor Mcgregor).

      1. SEALs are regarded as being quite the self-promoters in the USSOF community. Give Obama a nice assist for creating that ego monster.

        1. We’re blaming Obama? Seals have had a reputation for vanity and aggrandizement long before he was in Illinois State Politics.

        2. It used to be CAG (or whatever they are calling themselves now) did all the high visibility missions. And nothing ever leaked. Immediately after Obummer got elected Admirals were selected for flag officer positions in SOF and attention whoring started immediately after.

        3. I’ve wondered if there is a deliberate strategy to focus attention on the SEALs, to deflect attention from Army and Marine SOF. Nah, they just love being on TV.

        4. Naval Special Warfare was filled with Admirals that seek attention. Operators see how that is well received by the public and they want a piece of the validation. Ranger Batt., SF Regiment, MARSOC, etc. don’t have command staffs like that.

    7. Very relevant to the article – I recently watched a Don Shipley one where he was in N.O. calling out some dude who claimed to be graduating class 52 of buds. He kept saying “check me out” literally every other sentence or word, “check me out”. Turns out that guy was awarded with the navy service medal? (Sorry I forgot his medal). He instead of bein proud of his service, goes on to lie about receiving more glory.

  2. OKAY: Wearing BDUs without military insignia, clearly identifying costumes as costumes lest mistakes happen
    DISGUSTING: Wearing military uniforms or otherwise identifying as active military when you are not, identifying in any way as veteran when you are not
    I see this stuff, I’m grabbing my veteran gym buddies and we’re turning you into a quivering puddle of stolen valor.

    1. Also if it’s October 28-31st I think you can cut someone slack, especially if they have those ‘Nam or WW2 era helmets. 🙂

      1. Legally speaking, you can’t have a complete uniform. My buddy still wears his very comfortable Air Force jacket, but he had to remove some of the insignia to avoid stolen valor (yes, veterans can be charged with stolen valor).
        I catch your ass claiming a Purple Heart without merit (and I will dig into your story – my buddies barely have knees anymore after some shrapnel, but they’re undecorated), and you’re pavement jello.

      2. It ticks me off what the hippies did to the Vietnam vets when they returned. Those guys went through hell and were given crap about it clear through the 80’s.

        4. There was a letter retrieved from the pocket of a dead Marine in Vietnam, very striking, I’ll see if I can find it and post it. It was on the wall in a building I used to work at.
          Edit:
          Take a man and put him alone,
          put him twelve thousand miles from home.
          Empty his heart of all but his blood,
          make him live in sweat, in mud.
          This is the life I have to live,
          this the soul to the Devil I give.
          You have your parties and drink your beer,
          while young men are dying over here.
          Plant your signs on the White House lawn;
          “Lets get out of Vietnam”.
          Use your signs and have your fun,
          then refuse to use a gun.
          There’s nothing else for you to do,
          then I’m supposed to die for you.
          There is one thing that you don’t know;
          and that’s where I think you should go!
          I’m already here and it’s too late.
          I’ve traded all my love just for hate.
          I’ll hate you till the day I die.
          You made me hear my buddy cry.
          I saw his leg and his blood shed,
          then I heard them say “This one’s dead”.
          It was a large price for him to pay,
          to let you live another day.
          He had the guts to fight and die,
          to keep the freedom you live by.
          By his dying your life he buys,
          but who gives a DAMN if a Marine dies!

  3. Never was in the military, but I have the upmost respect for those who were. Out of all the people that are retired veterans, it is very rare to see one wear any indicators in public (outside of Veterans Day or Memorial Day.

    1. You find a veteran by talking about some military story and watching them go hollow. It’s an intense life, especially if you manage to survive.
      I save up for Vet’s and Memorial Day. Gotta get my boys liquored up – they earned it.

      1. We take our kids out to a memorial service both times every year. It is sad to see those holidays be more about the burgers and barbecue..

        1. When my son was 18 months old, and my daughter not yet born, we went to a local neighborhood parade and saw a WW1 vet. The standing ovation, this was around 1997-1998 or so, was amazing.

        2. That guy had guts; I don’t think that I could be in a parade just for being a veteran, it’d be too embarrassing.

        4. Couldn’t do it, irritating enough to hear ‘tyfys,’ considering I never had a combat deployment.

  4. Interesting article. I started reading it thinking, “I’ve run across a few Navy SEALs in my life and I always thought they were assholes.” After reading it, it occurs to me that there’s a very good chance they weren’t actually SEALs and were in fact just assholes, lol.

    1. I used to strive for the SEAL fitness standards. I’m almost certainly more a SEAL than those guys will ever be.
      EDIT: Nigh unobtainable fitness, by the way. Just to qualify you need to basically be an Olympian.

      1. The one thing that I know about SEALs is what I found out in Navy boot camp: that they just LOVE to run…and run…and run…and run some more!

  5. When you get out of the military, part of the process is an exit physical. And, if you’re smart getting the VA to do an assessment if you have any medical conditions. If they find any (and a lot of things qualify like a history of hemorrhoids, or hearing loss, or having had a cyst removed, or back problems…) you get a disability rating. It can be as low as 0%. The intent is that if you need medical treatment now or in the future if it worsens– the VA will cover it. It date’s back to prior to Obamacare and the end of insurance carriers not covering pre-existing conditions. It also allows you to start a business and apply for set-asides for Service Disabled Veteran Owned Small Businesses, and some states will give you/your kids tuition breaks.
    The disability can be completely unrelated to combat, which some folks don’t realize. I qualify as a disabled vet but nothing related to combat, just career of flying helos. I wish they’d make a separate category for combat related disability.

    1. I got out a few years ago but after working on the flightline my hearing has recently gotten much worse. Do they still help you after so many years out with a disability?

      1. You’d need to contact the VA, if it was documented in your medical record you might be able to, if there’s no documentation of hearing loss I’m not sure what they’ll do. I don’t know if just being able to show you worked on a flightline will be enough.

  6. First.
    And yeah, this phenomenon just frosts my shorts, as a vet of, let’s just say, over 10 years active duty. And duty in some crappy places. I’ve actually run into peeps who see the (fairly elite Army unit) tattoo on my arm, and still have the audacity to tell me they were a Ranger, or a SEAL, or whatever, when I can ask them a simple question or two and quickly determine they were nothing of the sort. Cuz I’ve been around the real ones.
    Some of the “war stories” one guy told me were just ridiculous. Fought in Grenada (1983), captured by Cuban soldiers and held prisoner, escaped, then jumped out of an evac plane that was going down, with a parachute that just happened to be sitting there. Yikes. I refuted nothing he said cuz at that time I felt more sorry for him than angry.

    1. I’m an Army Ranger who killed fifty Iraqis while hogtied to a radiator. I used the top of a pen cap to jam the first guy’s gun, and when it misfired it killed the rest and cut my bonds. Then I strangled Osama and escaped on a jet-propelled camel.
      If you’ll buy that, I have some beachside property in Nevada to sell you.

        1. It covers more than half the beachfront in the entire State. Convenient five-minute drive to the Vegas Strip and the Eiffel Tower.

        4. Time out: really? That’s a thing?
          I should have written “ocean front”. I forgot lakes and rivers could have beaches (to be fair, all the ones I’ve lived by had rocky slopes).

      4. Oooh fake war stories day. My turn. I am an ex delta force operative who was captured by the Soviets in 1980. I was sent to the Gulag but managed to escape when i killed all the guards with a bobby pin. I escaped the Soviet Union via alpaca and managed to shoot down a mi-24 with a sling shot made from a rubber band i found in a trash can.

      5. I call you out. Iragis don’t tie up hogs. You would be goattied.

    2. There is always those 10% man. I remember this one boot Marine got caught wearing a Purple Heart on his dress blues from one of his Facebook pictures where he was partying in the city. This happened while we were all on deployment. When we got back the Sgt. Major called a battalion formation for a very intense 2 hours. I never found out what happened to that kid.

  7. Florida veterans can now get a “V” designation on their driver’s license, just bring your DD-214 when you get your license renewed. I’m sure some other states are doing this as well. I know it’s a little off-topic, but if you ever need to prove general veteran status for discounts and whatnot I’ve found it really helpful.

  8. It’s a sign of the attention-needy society we have become. I was a former 18C and I rarely tell people that unless they explicitly ask. The only ones that go around bragging about what they did in the military are the ones seeking validation.

        1. I don’t know what 18C is and I had to google some of the other acronyms but FAG (former action guy) fucking hilarious. Makes me want to enlist, do something dangerous and retire just to use the line.

        2. Hahaha, never heard the FAG thing before.
          But don’t sell yourself short. At some point, everyone will have their glory days behind them.
          You were SF. Few have done it, few could do it.
          Airborne!

        4. It’s hard to transition. Life doesn’t have the same zeal without the camaraderie and activities. Everyone gets old and eventually has to move on. With the military’s PC agenda, I think I would have had difficulty making a career out of it.

  9. The guy in the “11 Tacos” pic is a clown named Sean Yetman or Yethman or something like that. There is a video on YT of him getting busted by a real infantry vet in a mall somewhere.. where old Sean was parading around in this fake uniform getting veteran discounts in various shops and stores. Find the vid if you can. Funny.
    The 11 Tacos reference is to a real Army infantry rifleman’s specialty code of 11 Bravo (or 11B).

  10. I can never tell if guys are lying about being in the military or not as I was never in so I don’t know the signs. I can tell, however, when someone is BS’ing about their career. If my experience of meeting military guys in pubs is in any way indicative, the army is made up of 96.5% green beret commandos. I don’t know who the fuck changes tires. The guys I do meet who are general honest people will have a funny story or two but as soon as someone I have known for all of 20 minutes is telling me about parachuting out of a submarine or whatever they have to say I just know and wish I had the requisite info to call them on it.

    1. Last Man Standing had an episode where Tim Allen’s character got to call out a “SEAL”.
      It was one of the best call-out scenes I’ve ever seen:
      – SEALS don’t train at army bases
      – SEALs don’t drive tanks, and the tanks don’t have an 8 hour range
      – “Semper Fi” is the Marine Corps
      – SEALs don’t use self-tanner
      It’s enough to make you want to get educated.

      1. The problem with calling out a guy who had whatever job when you know he is bullshitting if you didn’t serve is he can always say “yeah, and where were you stationed” and then you shut up. Even if I know 100% that a guy is giving me a load of bull I won’t call him on it. I won’t stand there and just listen either, but I am in no position to call it.

    2. I am in the same boat, but from what I have gathered from the guys I have known to be in the military, is if it is anything worth telling (combat stories) they won’t tell it to some random acquaintance at a bar. They will keep the powerful stories to themselves or very close friends.

      1. I have a friend who was a Marine and saw some f’ed up shit. He never talked to anyone he knows about it, but he admitted to me that one time, in a airport bar, he told a drunk guy he had never met before some of the worst shit he had seen. He just needed to say it out loud, but didn’t want anyone he knew to know about it.

        1. I’ve served as a confessional, myself. The guy’s now my best friend, but one night we got drunk and he told me some very dark things (no, I’m not telling you any of it).
          If I could, I’d run an a-religious confessional for soldiers like these. Even if I had to wear noise-reducing headphones to keep classified ops classified, it’d help them to at least get that out to someone.

        3. I suspect that there are lots of military guys who end up doing a lot of shit that we have no idea about.

        4. Had a real good buddy in school who did the same thing. Nicest guy, but goddamn so much PTSD…

      2. My Dad was a gunner on B-17s during WWII in the ‘Bloody 100th’. Did the infamous Schweinfurt mission, when it was bad with high losses on most missions. Even though I was an aviation nut as a kid in elementary school, could identify every aircraft type in WWII, he never said a thing. I found out when I was showing my grandmother a picture re the Trondheim raid and she said- ‘Your Dad was on that mission’. I didn’t even know he’d been in the service, much less the US Army Air Corps. He would have been a God in my eyes just telling me about his experience. He didn’t want that, or my opinion of him to be based on it.
        Even after I knew, he’d only talk about the non-combat stuff. Fresh eggs at breakfast was a sign of a tough mission, bar fights he got into, being busted to private and promoted back to sergeant in 24 hrs.

        1. My wife’s grandpa served under Patton through Africa and into Italy, got a Purple Heart. One day when we went to visit him, my 9 year old son starts asking him questions. He brings out his medals and memorabilia and tells all these stories, many of them were unknown to his wife or kids.Later on that year, he died. I so much wish I had a tape recorder that day.

        2. Fortunately, my sister got him to talk as part of a project she had to do for college and taped it.
          On exchange with the RN, I got to land an RN LYNX helo at what remained of the Thorpe Abbots runway, where the 100th was stationed. Locals had converted the control tower and a couple of Quonset huts into a museum.

        3. My old man’s Vietnam stories don’t stray further than watching kickboxing in Thailand or getting monkeys drunk (which seems to have been a popular GI pastime).

        4. Your Dad was in the ‘Bloody 100th’ AND survived the ‘Black Thursday’ raid on Schweinfurt??? DAMN…WHAT a man! You were lucky that you were born!

        5. The people I know that were in the military talk about the people they worked with, things that happened like the eggs and bar fights you mention, but with them as the main character doing something? No. The only instance of that was when the history teacher I had one year in HS had the dean talk about being in the military in vietnam. Even then he focused on the training and how ended up in some sort of special operations unit because he was trying to burn up his time in as much training as possible.

        6. Some of my relatives were probably on the ground in freakin’ Schweinfurt.

        7. Mine was camped on a ship off the coast for his whole tour in-country.

        8. Holy sHit! I read about those guys. “wing and a prayer” by harry crosby. Those dudes were the Real Thing.

        11. Yeah, he never wanted me to join, he’d seen too much. Ironically I did a full career in the Navy and saw very little action. He was proud of me, but would never have chosen that career for me.

        12. Good for him. If you had to do it, that’s probably one of the better ways.
          I’ve always appreciated that my dad, that while very proud of his service and our family’s long history of military service (he still works with vet organizations to this day, gives military museum tours, etc.), never pushed the military on me. When I was a teenager he told me to avoid the military, go to school, and use my brain. My brother signed up just before 9/11 so got to see some lovely shitholes in the Middle East… dumb ass.

        13. I’m certainly not going to encourage mine to join, but I’ll support them if they decide to.

        1. My dad never talked about the war. Hated the war story guys and completely ignored the Legion.

      4. And usually the combat stories only come out if the conversation demands it. People who eagerly spit out their war stories of skull bashing a platoon’s worth of sheetheads after getting shot in the ass are most certainly lying. Almost all true combat veterans are humble about it, and in many cases don’t even like to bring it up.

    3. Don’t forget the physical standard isn’t as hardcore anymore. Most of the soldiers i see look like they would get blown away in the wind.

    4. The guys who saw the real shit don’t talk about it. If they do, it’s only after years of being close friends with you, and maybe they’ll let out a single detail. The military has an entire non combative side to it where some folks feel they need to embellish their experiences to make up for never seeing any action.

      1. My father in law was a cook during his years in Vietnam. Not many stories to tell, but if you ever have a potato peeling contest with him at Thanksgiving time, watch out!

    5. Reality is that SOF units comprise a tiny percentage of overall forces (~1%). The percentage of service members that are in actual combat environments is much lower than people make out.
      For SF ask what ODA.
      Ranger ask what Battalion,
      SEALs ask what team.
      I don’t know shit about AF or Marine SOF either. Tell people to bring in their DD-214 and if they relent you know they are full of it.

      1. Yeah this is what I figure just based on how the elite of anything is a very tiny percentage. That’s kinda the hilarity of it

      2. I was a Marine, and I don’t know dick about Marsoc. Easiest way to spot them is a shitty haircut and a bunch of bling on their utility uniform.

    6. I love exposing their bullshit. Whatever y’all think of me, I have guns down pat. I own and shoot practically everything, I should probably have my own YouTube channel on this topic.
      So I’ll toss out a random question that anybody with normal training will know and wait for a response. Then I’ll drill down, one step at a time, innocently, letting the rope cast itself.

        3. I thought that Republicans/’conservatives’, not guns, were the ‘devil incarnate’ in NYC.

        4. I thought the devil was in Georgia……or maybe that was my mistake, I guess you could be in Georgia without being in Georgia.

    7. Parachuting out of a submarine is a technique perfected by the Polish special subs sub-division.

      1. My father took my mother to watch the submarine races, when he came home on leave from Vietnam; I was born 9 months later.

    8. “parachuting out of a submarine”
      I’m no veteran but that’s a pretty good tell.

      1. not sure what animal wellness has to do with any of it.

      2. You know the difference between a fairy tale and a ‘sea story’, right? *(old joke)*

    9. Here’s how you tell:
      Absent proof, if they are in the military, represent the military, lobby for the military, work for the military, or have an vested economic/political interest in the military…they’re lying.

      1. Veterans default to military time when writing and talking; write the date, day first, e.g. 3 March 2017; and I still drop into parade-rest, when my arms are free, and I am standing still for a few minutes.

    10. Or you encounter the opposite like my father who hit the end of his reenlistment, they let him wear E6 and offered training for Presidential Service to stay in and he said “hah hell no.” He had a cushy job in the Navy on an electronics repair ship in peace time and he wanted to keep it that way. I think he just wanted to smoke pot again.

  11. The retard in that first picture is wearing 13 Combat Action Ribbons. In the Marines, this is the highest non-medal individual decoration that can be awarded.
    I remember when this happened because my buddies were all upset that this retard got invited to speak at the dedication of a Camp Lejeune Vietnam Memorial. Apparently when they were looking this guy’s shit over, no one thought it was strage that he was wearing 13 of these, meaning he was claiming to have seen combat in Afghanistan, Iraq, Kosovo,
    Liberia, Cambodia, El Salvador, Somalia, Desert Storm, Panama, Lebanon,
    Grenada, Vietnam, and Korea.

      1. I forgot to add, this retard is wearing TWO Navy crosses, the second highest award for heroism (in the Navy and Marines), and he has three silver stars (third highest) and I see a bronze star (fourth highest) tucked under there too (who knows how many). Why this fucktard didn’t just award himself the Medal of Honor is anyone’s guess. Perhaps THAT would have been too much, even for him.

  12. Interesting points.. .I never experienced stolen valor cases myself… There is draft in Greece… spending some time of your life in uniform isnt such a big deal… Quiters and draft evaders like me arent shamed (perhaps they should)… However I was unlucky enough to spend a lot of time around mythomaniacs… Pathological liars that is. They will lie about anything… regardless if they have something to win with their lies. They are so desperate attention seekers that they will invent stories about everything… Could it be that same of those stolen valor cases actually mentally ill people? One of the most ridiculus experiences I had was to watch 2 mythomaniacs to try to impress each other with their lies… If it wasnt for the time wasted… they might actually sound funny.

    1. One of my sisters briefly dated a guy claiming to be an active duty USAF pilot and graduate of the Academy. He hung out at his apartment complex- including the pool- in a freaking flight suit. My brother-in-law, a Marine, knew something was up when they went to a bar and the guy claimed he didn’t have ID with him. Yeah, military not carrying your ID. Brother-in-law contacted the Academy the next day and sure enough, they’d never heard of this guy.

  13. What wrong with lying about your military service? In the USA, it means you can become a senator, like Richard Blumenthal of Connecticut

    1. Kerry managed to actually “earn” his Purple Hearts and discharge. Admittedly, at least one of the injuries didn’t even merit a band-aid and one of the others was apparently self-inflicted, but it made him Senator, Secretary of State, and media-appointed President Elect.

      1. Yeah, and no one seemed to care that he tossed his medals over the fence in front of the White House in protest. Or at least he tossed somebody’s medals over the fence, cause he later said they weren’t his or something.

        1. John Kerry is a special kind of douche bag. You don’t need to read “Swiftboat: Unfit for Command”, but listen to the testimony (later found to be completely fabricated) he gave at congressional hearing on the Winter solider project.

      2. But didnt all of this come out after the fact? The truth about Blumenthal came out before the election, and he still won, bc theres a D in front of his name on the ballot, and you know how we do in the northeast

      3. reminds me of mash where frank got a cut from a hard boiled egg and filed for the purple heart saying he took “shell fragments”

        2. I forgot about that episode.
          I love how Klinger didn’t get his Section 8 after years of embarrassing himself. Today, he’d be an SJW hero.

        3. These days, you don’t dress like a woman to get kicked out, you dress like a woman to get promoted.

        6. And the funny thing is, that Jamie Farr WAS a genuine Korean War vet!

      5. Perhaps if you want to get politcal, mention how George Bush managed to avoid deployment and Trump getting five differments. Kerry was in country at least. For goodness sakes the repubs are attacking McCain who was doing his duty, got shot down and was tortured. McCain was doing his job as a military man and Trump shits on him, a fat coward shitting on a legit military man. How does this work again ? Rich repubs and Dems get out of service and earn the right to shit on those who wnet to war ? The Kerry thing was disproved, McCain is a hero for what he went through and you can say shit about them when the current fat ass president did NOTHING but lie everyone and steal their money. Give me a break and give your stupid politics a rest.

    3. Especially since the military lies about everything anyway. Good training for the gullible recruits.

  14. I’m prior service and you aren’t even allowed to wear uniform gear in any way shape or form in public unless it’s official duty or you’re flying on commercial airways.
    If I see someone that has a partial uniform on in public I’ll tell them to put the whole thing on right out don’t wear it all. The response I get if they’re enlisted is the “ah fuck he’s right and I’m a douche” look on their face. If they aren’t enlisted, they just say “oh I’m not in the military I’m just wearing this” then I tell them to go join or take it off.

  15. In a fair world winning a Victoria Cross would also win you a Victoria’s Secret Model

    2. A Brit colleague in the RN told me- “Well, I was put in for a Victoria Cross but it was downgraded to an ass-chewing second class”.

  16. “In 1972, I was in a crack
    commando unit. We were sent to prison by a military court for a crime we
    didn’t commit. We promptly escaped from a maximum security
    stockade to the Los Angeles underground. Today, we are still wanted by the
    government and survive as soldiers of fortune. If you have a problem, and
    if no one else can help…”
    If you say this and no one picks up on it, it is okay for you to run with this story

      1. You know this is the opening voice over from The A-Team, no? If not, damn Im getting old

        1. The 1972 bit gives it away. The A-team was only 8 years after that.
          To amend it to contemporary standards, we’re looking at 2008/9.
          Back to the middle east again

    3. So this one time after ‘Nam, I’m backpacking through a small town in Washington when the sheriff starts harassing me…

      1. He drew first blood though, so you’re good.

    4. I still have fond memories of that show (in my 30s nowadays) but I think no millennial chick will spot it so it’s worth a try.

      1. The only thing I hated about that show was that they shot off a LOT of ammo, but they NEVER seemed to hit a damn thing!

        3. No bad guy (or innocent victim) was ever killed in the A-Team. Not once. I must have watched 100 episodes before I realised that. And the victims never had the means to hire the A-Team, just lots of goodwill and a hot chick daughter / granddaughter.

        6. There was an episode where BA baracus had been shot (with a 50 bmg) and needed a blood transfusion from murdoch but they didn’t show him being shot.

        7. That’s not strictly true, there’s an episode where a mob boss is killed on-screen, and The A-Team is framed for the hit.
          Episode is S1E7, “The Rabbit Who Ate Las Vegas”

        8. There’s an episode where a (white) African diamond miner is shown assassinated (sniped) by a rival, with the aftermath later found by The A-Team and the miner’s daughter.
          S2E1, “Diamonds ‘n’ Dust”
          …Also, there’s an ep where a mob boss is whacked on screen, S1E7.

        9. The A-Team has a moral code, while their adversaries are just crap shots?
          For some evidence, The A-Team vocalizes the lengths they’ll go to in order to not harm the active military members who pursue them.
          Additionally, The A-Team becomes so well known for doing “good deeds” that their military pursuer starts using that to entrap them.

  17. The one kind of fake veteran I can get behind is if it’s a cover story for something even more hardcore. A fictional example would be the main villain in Moonraker who pretends to be a British WWII hero but is actually an SS commando.

  18. If your game is terrible and you have to lie to get laid, just say you are a lawyer and throw some shitty latin at them. At least every layman that lies about being a bigshot lawyer isn’t doing any damage to the “integrity of the profession” or whatever. Everyone already hates us, it’s all good.

    2. I never went to any high school reunions, but if I did I would not bathe for a month and show up in rags and tell everyone else I was homeless just to balance out everyone elses “I’m a big shot” story

    3. … and you have to lie to get laid,

      If she’s wearing makeup then that makes it ok 🙂

  20. Anyone who has actually been in that shit… The last thing they want to do is brag about it.
    Who the fuck wants to brag about seeing their best friend’s head blown off? Who the fuck wants to brag about seeing their friend bleed-out from his neck screaming for his mother? Who the fuck wants to brag about how they pissed and shit themselves after an IED exploded?
    Pretty much all of them want to get home alive, get a job, find a wife, have a kid or two, and die in their beds of old age, having never spoken of that hell-on-Earth ever again.

    1. My mate talks a good bit about his time in Japan or Korea, where he worked systems all day and got blasted with cute Asian girls all night. He’s even got some great stories from training (including the guy who nearly blew them all up when his girly arm couldn’t lob a grenade out of the bunker).
      I learned pretty fast not to get into his deployment, though. All I know is that an IED went off, and he lost most of his knee. The look on his face and his haste to change the subject were enough warning.

      1. When asked about his service, my grandfather would always say he was in supply. He often did change the subject though. He tended not to worry people about things: when he died it turns out he lied abut being diagnosed with asthma- was actually emphysema. Not even my grandmother knew.

      2. The first thing you wonder about when you get in the grenade pit: Why the fuck are there so many pockmarks in this bunker???

    2. Yes, and no.
      We’ll talk your ear off about the whores or easy chicks in Australia. And that one contortionist broad in Malaysia.
      Combat, you’re right.

    3. Depends on the person. Was friends with a Machine Gunner, he’d get wasted, and get this glazed smile on his face when he talked about some of the shit he dealt with out there.

  21. Is there any way online to verify if a person was a Seal, or in any branch of the service ? Had an older claimed to be retired guy last year, very smooth and fairly polished come into our small town. hint to scammers : not a place to run one…Reminded me of Col Decker from the A team…He wore a fresh Navy Seal hat from the PX from the base on the river and had very tall tales to tell. Then his story started to get looked into when he told everyone in our small town the same story but it was very hush hush, (we have lots of retired mil spec folks here) so obviously he was using the story (of being on a super secret rescue-women-children team) to garner social credit of some sort. Then our security services here in town started to catch him skulking around and trying locked doors at night and some such buggery. Shortly after he was asked to leave his apartment and then some new super secret security job came up working for a private firm or some such nonsense and he was gone. Very odd. Goes by the last name of LAM, as in on the lam….rolls eyes. The best story was when he supposdly came back from trip on foot covering 275 miles deep over 5 days in the african congo to rescue some hostages… The guy is in his 70’s.

    1. For SEAL phonies, the guy you want to contact is Don Shipley. Just Google the name and you’ll find him and his site (and some vids of him busting phony SEALs). Don was a SEAL for years, has a son in the SEALs, and has the entire data base on every single person who’s ever gone thru BUDS/SEAL training.
      Don is an equal opportunity buster of the phonies. He doesn’t care if they’re 18 or 80. He will light them up.

  22. Old news, m8. Stolen Valor shitbirds had their 15 minutes of fame (and by fame, I mean horrendous ass-reamings by actual servicemembers, that were uploaded to YouTube) and then everyone accepted that they were just mentally ill losers and stopped giving a shit. They’re usually easy to spot, look really out of place and reek of a mental illness or insanity.
    Disregard them, they’re not worth your time.

  23. You’re an idiot if you think all vets have “valor”. Even Navy SEALs can be retarded pussies. Many vets are lazy, entitled, worthless tax-eating parasites… but they’ll sure take your free meals on Vet Day and bask in your praise.
    We need to go back to state-run citizen militias and fire at least 90% of the standing military.

    1. I would be with you…the problem is that city state militias normally NEVER get anything done beyond their frontiers, ask the Greeks, they were nothing until Alexander came and unified them.

    3. I want to reply to this, but it’s so stupid and bitter that I am almost at a loss for words. Would I be correct in guessing you never served? Butthurt about it?
      Of course not ALL vets are men of valor, but to say some SEALs are retarded pussies??? Kid, you don’t have a clue. Zero credibility.

  24. The great Samuel Johnson sayeth: “Every man thinks meanly of himself for not having been a soldier , or not having been at sea”….

  25. “The ones who like to talk about their service are the ones to worry about.” A quote from my great grandfather who served in WW2 as a marine to my 6 year old self. I have a friend who I knew for years and years professionally and personally before I helped him move in 2013. After the move we sat down and cracked a few beers. He told me to look in this one box… It was everything he took from the military.The man had double digit confirmed kills and went primordial by any account for over 25 days. He asked me if I wanted it… “Nope”

  26. Does the guy who was a typist or a mechanic in the military but is now the ultimate badass count?

  27. My complaint is these frauds wind up getting high paying jobs over actual veterans.

  28. FitzRoy is a British and American Nationalist who refuses to apologize for the British Empire.

    Actually, very interesting. Same here. My family’s were the “elite” that got through the “almost no immigrants” shit from the ’20’s to 65, from England and Scotland.
    Do you post here normally? Get back to the U.K. (or over to the U.S.) much?

    1. Not as often as I’d like. I spent some time in the UK while in the U.S. Army. I found I liked the country’s history more than its current state today. The nation that would have crushed ISIS with a swarm of redcoats is now cucking itself in order to avoid offending muslims.
      Winston Churchill would roll over in his grave if he knew what his beloved Britain was doing to itself. And he probably would have voted for Brexit, Trump and Boris Johnson.

  30. If the “biker cuts with numerous patches” are OMG patches, and you aren’t a genuine 1%er, you are liable to get maimed or killed.

  32. Theres been a number of cases in Australia of people claiming to be ex military or ASIO for numerous reasons ego, discounted drinks at the local veterans club, fruad or simply to get laid – the amusing part is how gullible the women who get caught by these guys really are.

  35. Military folks have a certain ruggedness about their physiognomy, and if they don’t start with it they sure attain it. Includes a certain alertness about the eyes and thinning facial subcutaneous fat. I almost didn’t recognize one of my old highschool buddies because of it. (I tend to rely on physiognomy to tell people apart more than I should).
    Chances are good a blubbery, babyfaced little bugger ain’t military.

  36. In my young, thin days if I ever met a guy and first thing out of his yap was he was a “Navy Seal” or worked “for the CIA” I was right out the door. No bigger line of BS ever told especially CIA nonsense. Women just don’t get it and I always tried to warn friends about these bullshitters.
    I had a guy in the ER telling me he was a “Nam veteran”. I looked at his birthday and then said, “you were in Nam when you were 12 yrs. old?”. The dude became pissed and started swearing at me and I had to call security. Such bullshitters.

    1. thats awesome! If you worked for the cia, you would not be flapping your gums about it in a bar. Still, I used that line on occasion to see how sharp the woman was

  37. During my second deployment in 2006 the CIB was blanket awarded to any infantryman who had been in country for more than 30 days regardless of exposure to enemy fire. So we had infantry dudes that had been RTOs in our TOC for the entire deployment, had never gone outside the wire getting CIBs. I was a forward observer (13F) thus was not eligible for the CIB despite having gone one patrols and having received / returned fire many times. The CAB was relatively new, thus they stuck to the standards of awarding it and I had to have a three star general sign off on my award ( don’t know if they blanket award them now). The fucking TOC bitch infantry guys still had the audacity to talk shit to my fellow FIST guys and make fun of our CABs that we had earned (in fairness I have always thought the design was gay). When I got out the EIB was starting to go that way too. They dumbed it down and our BC and SMAJ wanted a 90% EIB for the battalion. A true sign of the participation award generation if you ask me.

  38. Embellishing a war story is one thing but you’ve gotta have mental issues to make the whole thing up.

  39. Easy solution: if any of you real soldiers spot a faker or poser, just beat the living crap out of them in public…
    Good ole beatdown teaches a lesson.

  40. The guys that served and try to sport additional shit they didn’t earn are just sad, and slightly pathetic. They remind me of that one cousin you had that was a little creepy at the family reunions, and the day you heard he got arrested for having a bunch of illegal pics on his computer involving farm animals and trannies you are like “Yeah, kind of saw that coming…” I somewhat feel bad for them. Be proud of what you did, and if you aren’t then shut the fuck up about it. I turned wrenches in the AF. Saw a good bit of the world, bagged some broads from some exotic locales (who can say they’ve got a Kazakhstani notch on their belt?), helped with the air support during the early days of OEF, but I don’t go around yapping about it all the time.
    Now, these motherfuckers who have the balls to try and sport SF/Ranger/SEAL tabs and combat ribbons, and they didn’t even have the balls to sign up and be a cook need their fucking teeth stomped in. Repeatedly. Both of my brothers are still active duty, one is a Marine Gunnery Sargent (a straight up 0311 knuckledragging mouth-breather, God bless him) and the other is a Ranger with the 75th. Both of them have multiple tours in Iraq and Afghanistan and have watched friends KIA’d.

    2. Totally agree man. I served in the Army, and didn’t really do anything special or cool, but I’m still proud I served. I’d never brag about or embellish stuff I didn’t do. Anyone who has the balls to sign on the line deserves some respect (unless they dishonor themselves) so there is no need to embelish

  41. Slightly off topic but funny story about “embellishing”.
    Years ago a guy I was stationed with was out at one of the local college bars two towns over and started hitting on this girl pretty hard. He is going on and on about being in the service and she’s like “Oh really, what do you do?” So, in what seemed like a brilliant maneuver at the time, he tells her he’s a pilot and a Captain (AF Captain so an O-3, mind you he was an E-4 at the time). At some point he told her what his actual unit was, (this is important later) and she knew his real last name because that’s how we all addressed one another (this is important later). Apparently the sparks weren’t there and soon after she left..
    About 2 weeks later everyone is lined up outside the squadron for one of those voluntary/mandatory blood drives when who should come walking around the corner but the girl from the bar… in uniform… as a fucking 1st Lt. Her best friend was our squadron’s (female) supply Lt. She seems him, standing there in his uniform rocking his 3 E-4 stripes and she’s like “Oh, Captain XXXX, I guess you don’t have to fly today”.
    Needless to say he spent the next couple of hours getting his ass chewed out, in order by: our Flight Chief (E-7), our Squadron Chief MSG (E-9), our supply LT (O-2), our section CO (O-3), and finally the squadron commander (an O-5 light bird). He spent a couple months getting stuck with every shit detail that could be dreamed up. I think he was stuck on mandatory 12’s every weekend for at least 90 days. We found out later that outside of our supply Lt., every other person who chewed his ass almost lost it laughing at one point, even the Old Man. I heard when he separated out the plaque he got from the squadron had “Senior Airmen” crossed out and they hand wrote “Captain” over it.

    1. I love stories like that. My Lil brother actually is a military pilot, and most stories about how someone got their call sign are based on dumb shit they did. No one’s call sign is “maverick” and “iceman”, nothing cool. It’s always something like “shitpants” for the time you shit your pants on a 12 hour mission.

      1. True. I can only recall a handful our pilots that had “cool” nicknames. “Chewie” because he was right at the top end height limit for a pilot and absolutely towered over everyone else in the squadron, “Benoit” because his last name was Balls (the spelling had to be changed from Ben Wa).
        We had a couple that sounded cool, but were still digs at the pilot. “Boomer” because he sucked at mid-air refueling and almost failed out of flight school because of it (Boomer is slang for a refueling jet like a KC-135 or KC-10). “Jockey” because he had crashed a T-37 and a T-38 during early pilot training, he had one more ejection to go and then would be medically grounded for the rest of his career, aka a desk jockey.

  42. well, ‘Equality’ : as society encourages and rewards women for impersonating whores – so it’s logical that men would gain status by impersonating Vets… what? One is less honorable than the other?

  43. Funny as…I am an Aussie ex Army chook (signaller) and while I may (or may not) have spent time in SF, I was a shit kicking black hat (support person). Think back to that movie “Black Hawk Down” and what does Ewan McGregors character (Grimes) say, “I made coffee through Desert Storm” – that about sums it up, although it was Iraq and Afghanistan. By the time I got there, the bullets had well and truly stopped firing (except for the obligatory weekly range shoots). The highlight of my day was walking down to the PX store for Timmy Hortons and CINNABON!!!!. Mind you the SF types would always challenge you to a chin up competition….bring it on bee-atchess!!!!!
    Nowadays, safely “stateside”, I quietly potter in the garden with my children running around – blissfully unaware of Daddys “noble service to his country” – cue vomit bag. My combat boots, gloves and what-nots are used as gardening attire and my tokenistic seven “participation” service medals are wrapped up in an old plastic shopping bag and stored under the house in my old Army trunk.
    Chinese Proverb: “Better to be the warrior in the garden – than the gardener in the war.”
    #REMF!!!!
    Oh the joke about the reflective waist bands (as I see it) …… At Baghdad in 2005/06, it was camp policy for all the US types to wear them for PT and over their uniforms at night. I have never seen so many fat American soldiers in my life with them on – some people would wear more than one – WTF???. The PX Store sold them and they looked pretty lame. Especially for the overweight REMFs where their guts would spill over the reflective bands. The 24hour camp food was pretty good though if you were lifting weights – 10,000 calories a day anyone??? NOM NOM NOM

  45. When a privileged class is carved out people will act to get the privileges of that class by hook or by crook.
    That’s all there is to it. Create special parking places for the disabled and there is a rise of things that qualify as disabled. Allow cops not to get parking tickets and suddenly there are people with ticket books and hat bands in view in their illegally parked cars. It doesn’t matter what the class is or how petty benefit.
    The same attraction exists for victim classes. Any special class that comes with benefits will do.
    The way to solve this is stop creating special classes. Of course when there was this attempt to create a free society over a couple hundred years ago it was already known that special classes were destructive to freedom and liberty so things like titles of nobility were disallowed. But humans love their special classes and primitive ways.
    Then there is straight up lying about accomplishments to get opportunities or looked up to. That happens with everything and the military is no different. Unearned medals are like resume padding with lies. Lying about time in the military like lying about a degree. This society rewards those who lie more times than not so people lie.

  46. It’s funny how many of these fauxvets can be seen standing by freeway off-ramps holding signs asking for money.

    1. Sometimes I will ask a homeless vet about their service: what unit, where were you deployed, what years. If they are full of shit it’s easy to tell. I have a lot of sympathy for real homeless vets, but posers trying to play on sympathy for enough cash to buy a Crack rock pisses me off.

  47. It’s a fashion.
    During the Vietnam years all the way up to the 80’s no one pretended to be a SEAL, SF or even part of the military, as they were considered “baby killers” and college dropouts by the public.
    When Top Gun came out every poser was suddenly a fighter pilot.
    Now that special operations are cool again (thanks Call of Duty), everyone wants to be a Ranger, SF, SEAL or secret squirell (sorry MARSOC and SWCC, nobody cares enough to pretend to be you guys).
    When this fad dies out, maybe field artillery will be all the rage? We can get in early on that.

    1. “…When Top Gun came out every poser was suddenly a fighter pilot.”
      I remember when ‘The Hunt For Red October’ came out, suddenly every poser was an ex-submariner or a wanna-be (Navy Times even ran a cartoon about this, under the “Things We Thought We’d NEVER See” category).

      1. Tom Clancy was apparently an arrogant a-hole. A crewman I knew met him when he toured a ship, they had their helo on deck with the aircrewman there to show it off/answer questions. Clancy claimed he knew more about the helicopter than the aircrewman. Which explains why he got several details about the Seahawk wrong in a subsequent book…

    2. So true. Just like when people first heard about SEAL Team 6 all kinds of people started claiming they were members. But those guys have black status and you’re not supposed to know who they are.

  48. I can’t see that boasting about killing natives in their own countries to further the interests of oil companies is gonna get some fat old guy laid.
    Most of the former SAS/Seals I meet are sad old guys in bars trying to cadge drinks off other sad old guys in bars. I would rather they were fakes than people that had been busy oppressing and murdering poor 3rd world natives.
    Now if I’m lying to get laid, I’ll either tell them I’m a drug dealer or multimillionaire on holiday ……. that works.

  49. My now-deceased old man was in WW2 though like most folks of that era didn’t talk much about it, although I got the impression he did not see any combat. He was a fireman (i.e. feeding the ship’s fire, not putting out fire) and apparently served in the vicinity of Cuba and Alaska (though not at the time of the big Aleutian battles up there.)
    We never did get a clear story out of him, but somehow he ended up at the Norfolk medical facility, 100% disability but mental rather than physical — no outward signs of disability. He either escaped or just walked away from the place at one point. Served a few months in the Merchant Marine in the ’50s, we never learned why he quit suddenly.
    I recall my mother mentioning that he had been in a fight or disagreement aboard ship at some point, was beaten or ended up unconscious and that may be how he ended up at the Norfolk facility, but the cause of this fight I never learned.
    He was on a smorgasbord of pills all his life (better living through chemistry), always had a weird, marginally sociopathic personality, often irritable and ready to argue with anyone all the time. If anyone has seen the film “The Master” by Paul Thomas Anderson, he reminded me a lot of Joaquin Phoenix’s character, a very disturbed former soldier with anger issues. The mystery, to me, is that since he wasn’t in combat, I never knew exactly what was the cause of his mental troubles or whether they were pre-existing, exacerbated by the war, genetic, or what.
    My dad was proud of his service and kept a few photos and mementos of the ship(s) he served on, but I really would have liked it if he had been more forthcoming about his life story, especially as he knew the end was coming.
    I just realized none of this has anything to do with stolen valor. He did show me his medals, which were legit and conventional (basically what they gave out to almost any guy who served.) He never bragged or overstated his role or accomplishments (which were nil, afaik … I still feel bitter about him for complex reasons.)

  50. Whenever a poser starts talking and spreading his phoy stories, I order a cup of steaming hot coffee, then I ask them about the color of the boathouse at Hereford.

  51. I was dating this girl once who had a father that claimed to be an ex Navy SEAL and would tell all these bullshit stories about being shot and running all these secret ops so I contacted Don Shipley at extreme seal experience and had him pull military records and like I pretty much already knew found out the guy was so full of shit it was ridiculous.
    I immediately dumped her because she was so stupid she believed it. If you’re too dumb to know that you’re own family is that full of shit I don’t want to be around you. You’re more likely to meet a professional football player than a Navy SEAL, they’re extremely rare. I’ve only met 1 ex seal in my life that was legit and he didn’t even want to talk about it, that’s how most SEALS behave, not bragging about all the shit they’ve done.

  52. I tell people I was in ‘nam all the time just to watch their face scroonch up trying to do the math.
    (disclosure – that war ended when I was a toddler)

    1. Our young aircrew you used to say that, ‘Back when I was in NAM =,(NAMTRAGRUDET, Naval Air Maintenance Training Group Detachment ).

      2. I’m nearly 61, and I just missed Nam by a year or two (I still have my draft card though).
        The funny thing is that I volunteered and went in the Navy nine years later…

  56. It’s all stolen valor, whether in the military or not.
    Believing they are ‘special’ due to membership in some
    club. The US military is one of the worst organizations of all time, how can anyone be proud of joining them?

    1. As opposed to what? The French / Swiss / Dutch / Syrian militaries?
      It’s so cool to be counter culture these days…

  57. So the society where men prefer to watch sports rather than play them has a problem with stolen valor?
    Shocking.

  58. 6. Claiming to be a rank someone at your age has no way in hell of being (ex: Col at age 30).
    7. Claiming to be a Medal of Honor recipient. There are only a handful of living recipients. Even fewer GWOT or OIF recipients.
    8. They don’t know what a DD-214 is. Every vet of every service should have one.

  60. I rarely ever bring up my service as well. I notice that it changes the dynamic of the conversation that I’m having in a negative way. Unfortunately sometimes my friends will bring up the subject and it happens anyways. I know they mean well, but it has turned a few prospects off.

  61. I take exception to your claim that alphas commit stolen valor. Anyone attempting to pretend to be someone they are not does so because they are suffering from a deep seeded inferiority complex. Personally I prefer the term “real man” or “good man” over the term “alpha”, nonetheless, we all have different ideas of what may encompass an alpha personality. I deign to say that none of us believe emotional debility and insecurity are characteristics of alpha personality. Confidence of self and respect for others are key attributes in my eyes and anyone commiting that brand of fraud lacks both.

  62. Also, keep a record of the ribbon bars they are wearing. Many of the idiots who bought theirs at a local military surplus store assume that there is no story as well as what time they came from. Many are found to be wearing ones that are older than the person sporting them are. Since each pattern and the colours used tend to be distinct to a specific war/battle.

  63. I feel sorry for these guys. I served in the Marines and was in Iraq, I’m honestly not offended by this. They’re that pathetic, so much so, I think they deserve sympathy.

    1. Until they get benefit meant for real veterans, or land a cushy “advisor” or “instructor” job based on their false credentials and get people killed with their bullshit.

  66. I’ve had 50-year-old panhandlers tell me they were Viet Nam veterans. Bit of a tough sell.

  67. Ladies and gentlemen, introducing Epileptic Roofer. Our latest troll and gutless punk… and trying to justify his cowardice with noble-sounding trash talk.
    Get lost kid. You bore me and the other real men here.

  68. Stolen valor, that happens in a militaristic society where you have strong men on the one end and pussies who like to leech in any way from others.
    They should give long prison sentences to these people, or just accept it.

  69. I have a number of friends that are vets, more than a few special forces. And they all have stuff in common.
    1. In a social situation, they rarely, or never are the first to say they were in the military. Someone else usually brings it up.
    2. I’ve never heard one of them talk about combat unless asked. They’ll happily tell stories. But they never start it. All the special forces dudes I’ve met have been laid back, and never, ever brag.
    3. I can’t recall ever seeing any of them in any sort of military garb. Sometimes a hat. Sometimes, they’ll have a pack or duffel they used. Not often though. I have a former SEAL in the family who gave me his duffel. It’s one of my most useful, cherished items of luggage. And when I’m asked about it, I happily explain it was given to me by a hero.
    4. The Special forces dudes I’ve met are all fit – even ten years after. Every one I’ve met that was out five years or less was in intense shape. You don’t give up those habits easily.
    This is in stark contrast to two I know that washed out of bootcamp – or rather, didn’t like their MOS and failed out. Those two tell stories constantly about their time in the army. One spent years wearing his combat boots and fatigue jacket. Looking back, he may have been a poseur.

    1. Thanks for the story. Just a fyi- “special forces” refers to only army green berets. The term is spec ops or special operations and finally SOCOM (special operations community). That includes all branches of elite operators; seals, rangers, delta, berets, force recon, marine recon, etc

  70. Once had a marine accuse me of stolen valor asking me for my MOS. He didn’t seem to get the concept that the Air Force has AFSCs….

  71. It most likely wasn’t intended as a laugh line, but I did laugh at the idea of a “classified” award: “The Army/Navy/Air Force/Marines are extremely proud and grateful for my brave and exemplary service, but they don’t want anybody to know about it.”

  72. Listen here, I am a NAVY SEAL, an agent of MI:7, an astronaut, and the god damn Batman. I lost my legs in World War IV, but they were regrown by government scientists and then they sent me back in time here to covertly defend freedom by posting shit on the internet.

  73. We have a similar problem in the UK. Go into any city centre pub of a weekend and you’ll often meet blokes who claim to have served with 22 SAS in some capacity or other. Other regiments are often mentioned but the SAS seems to be favourite. If they had actually been SAS, the last thing they would do is broadcast the fact in a pub.

  74. My story is entirely true though.
    I served in world war 2, got every medal except the purple heart since I’m awesome at dodging bullets. After the war I found the fountain of youth. Today I look like a guy in my 20s and live in Sweden. This is my story.

  75. Every image in the article in exception to the last one – I have watched the confrontation via video. In fact as around when this article was published, I was watching a string of stolen valor compilations. Synchronicity lol.
    But the “beta cuck” guy is actually a skit. If you watch the video he said he is part of the brick mortar platoon, and his mos is “mining” or something, only to reveal his non regulation minecraft fanboy shirt under his bdu’s. Funny stuff.
    But the fat guy mos taco one was actual stolen valor. He was doing Black Friday shopping with his “staff sarg” impersonating a second battalion 75th regiment ranger. Actual federal crime.
    Side note: (I do not condone or defend stolen valor) I’ve noticed that sometimes the servicemen calling out the stolen valor culprit was usually a guy trying to boost his ego. A good portion of cases I seen, the culprit is mentally challenged and the vet/servicemen are just getting a power trip. Again, I am no way defending the stolen valor culprits and I actively shun them as well.

    1. I spot 3, maybe 4 women, a tubby guy, a couple of pretty obvious homos on the left side, and it looks like they’re walking across a gay rainbow design. So what elite unit is this, and how will they instill fear in the enemy?

      1. They are all enlisted members of the Royal Australian army
        They sadly get to march in uniform during Mardi Gras ( last Saturday )

        1. If this is even somewhat representative of the Ozzie army, their enemies have nothing to fear.

  77. One quibble with the article.. per Shipley, asking the BUDs class number is pointless if you don’t already know they weren’t. Basically they could basically make up a number 3 years in the future or 30 in the past and you wouldn’t know the difference unless like shipley you have access to those records. Then you’re just standing there with your dick in your hand with no follow up and it’s more likely to make your average bar patron think they guy is legit, when only 1 time in 1000 would he actually be.

  78. I was in the military, but I wouldn’t consider myself a veteran, because I served far away from real danger.
    And I got to know special forces veterans – most were silent as can be, never even wanting to talk much about their experiences.

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